𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳

𝑽𝑰𝑰

I couldn't take my eyes off the reflection the old mirror showed, the sight was so new to my eyes, so pleasant even. For once, I saw something different in me, I wasn't looking at an empty reflection of myself, one with a huge hole that couldn't be filled with all sorts of delight that could come to a man's mind. I looked in the mirror and I could see joy radiating off me like rays of sunlight, an undeniable surge of happiness got me lost within, spreading a pleasant sensation of warmth all over me. I'd be lying if I said I'd ever felt anything close to this.

I felt so strange, even to my own self. My cheeks were so reddened, like all my blood pooled in them, giving them that tint, with heat flying off them as if they were the sun. I held my own cheek, gently settling the palm of my hand on it, trying to turn back time to when I could feel her hand on my cheek, like a blow of breeze. In my head, I could see her eyes, glistening so beautiful like the dew of early morning when she looked at me, her eyes glued on mine, and as such were mine.

I almost couldn't feel it when that huge smile covered my face whole, that for a moment I could see her own smile in mine. I bit my lip so hard, like a little girl, that I thought the flavor of blood would overwhelm my tongue any minute. I don't know how or why, I could see her everywhere around me, smiling so beautifully, as if knowing that there was no way in heavens or hell that I could get her off my mind.

I ran my fingers slowly over my lips, and as I closed my eyes I tried to recall the feeling of her tender lips, moving against mine ever so carefully as if they were a rose petal, easily wounded. And as I opened my eyes once more, I had a feeling I was unable to understand, a feeling that made me feel important, like I mattered to someone, one way or another, and for once I did not bother to dig into the truth of that feeling, I just let it be as it was, after all what harm can occur in believing a false feeling for a few minutes?

My eyes were suddenly watery, blurry the vision became as the tears pooled in my tired eyes, it felt so good. Like moving on a cloud, I rushed to my bed, and uncontrollably threw myself on it as though I were a lost leaf. Not minding the noise that the old bed made as I lied on it, I enjoyed the bits of peace I found in endlessly staring at the plain ceiling, with a smile I failed to hide.

It was almost as if I was born the moment her eyes met mine, new, with no thoughts, feelings or memories other than what she gave me. Everything that had ever happened to me, all the moments where I thought I was happy, all the moment where everything was so dark and consuming, everything was erased away. All the faces that I'd ever seen, were nothing but dust on a part of mind I locked a long time ago, and the only thing that occupied my every bit was her shining face, like a star, made of light, made of heaven's best bits.

And then, I saw her smiling at the back of my mind, so beautifully that it forced a smile on my face, and suddenly the world drowned in light. I felt her hand on my cheek again, if I were ever to touch a cloud, I'd suspect it would be as soft. The hairs on my body stood, arousing my nerves in the most heavenly feeling I'd ever felt, as if she was still tracing the back of my neck with her fingers of light. I couldn't stop imagining, and I didn't want to, her perfectly shaped lips, so red and so lively, pouring life in me as they moved against mine, and it felt to me like the taste of raspberries, and lord knows, I was ready to give all I had to feel that again, all of it.

I couldn't limit my imagination to what happened earlier, a voice in me reminded me that I wanted more, more of her, more of the divinity she would give. I wanted to feel her waves of red strands in my fingers, I wanted to hear her sweet voice telling me all that I wanted to hear, like an angelic song. I wanted her to hold me in her arms for as long as time goes. I wanted to spend all moment left for me admiring her.

I closed my eyes, drifting away to where I could still feel her lips upon mine. Played in my mind, in front of my eyes, all things I wanted to do with her, how I wanted to kiss her endlessly, even more lively that before. How I wanted to sense her hands as they surround my back, caressing my body as I caress hers, moving in a heavenly rhythm. I wanted really bad, I needed really bad.

My whole body started heating up, and I felt my heart running wild in every bit of me. I felt as though I needed something so bad, every cell in my body needed that mysterious thing, but I seemed to need it so much more between my legs.

What in heaven's name was that feeling?