The Stand In

Chapter 1

Have you ever been on one of those dates, when you wish you had the superpower of freezing time and disappearing?

No, you're lucky. Me however, I'm currently going through it.

My so called friends set me up on a blind date, after the trip to single-town was growing longer and longer. Personally, I thought I was onto a good thing. No wet towels on the floor, always have food in the fridge and I can starfish the bed every night.

But apparently it was only showcases my desperation to ending up with a house full of cats. Which is how I've ended up here, on a date. With Ed, who for the two hours been talking about his ex girlfriend who he is clearly still hung up on.

"She used to do this thing...."

I drone out his voice in favour of looking the spinach he has stuck in his teeth. I can't help it, it's right at the front, hard to miss if I'm honest.

From there I think about my own appearance, to the weather, to plans at the weekend and if I can evaporate from the table.

"She said that I have...."

Gone again.

I knew it was too good to be true, the moment he showed up wearing a baby blue shirt with blue eyes to match. He was a good looking guy, if only he could move on from Gemma the Gym Bunny.

If this was to go further, then I would be a rebound, and those are always doomed from the start. It's the pitstop after having your heart shattered. You're usually angry at the world and think you can move on, when you can't because no matter what, you're still hurting and subsequently, hurt the person you're dragging along for the fuckfest you've got yourself in.

"Do you like cats?" Ed asks. I almost go to answer when he continues "Gemma loves cats. We were planning to rehome...."

Maybe his obsession has something to do with the vast amount of glasses he has on the table. It seems he has quiet a thirst on tonight, no doubt from the endless chattering.

I picked a salad and one drink, mainly for the sake of it being a quick meal, especially when he started talking about Gemma and her fantastic abs. Ed had a steak the size of Texas and every side you could see.

He must have been quiet whilst he ate right? Wrong, he chewed and spoke with his mouth open.

Major. Turn. Off.

"You know, if you lost 20 pounds, you'd be a lot prettier." He says.

The comment almost wipes me off my seat, mainly because it wasn't Gemma- based. But then I get angry..

My brow cocks up one side as he then proceeds to pick up the bill and give a low whistle.

"We're going halves right?" He asks looking at me.

"Wrong." I answer slapping down twenty dollars before getting up from the table. "It's been painful, Ed. Good luck with your next victim."

I don't miss panic in his voice as I leave him with his whopper of a bill, but that's what happens when you presume and then body shame. No thank you.

As I get out into the warm Vegas evening, I take a breath, feeling relief and peace creep in from the endless stream of bullshit coming from Ed's lips.

Gemma the Gym Bunny has a lot to answer for!

I'm making my way across the parking lot when I hear it... Hear him.

"Wait! Come back!"

Looking over my shoulder, I find Ed, running after me, waving the bill at me as if I had more than an eight dollar salad and one drink.