Open Your Mind Before Your Mouth

Tonightless

October 17

           "Mommy! Wake up! It's my birthday!" My 3 year old daughter is jumping on my bed. "Oh, yeah?" I roll over nearly falling off the bed,"I thought it was daddy's birthday." I mumble. "No it's not, I don't want a birthday," He rolls over and pulls a pillow over his face. I stand up and roll my eyes. I grab my phone and look at it. 3:10a.m. "Sounds good to me," I mutter, pick up Winter and bring her back to her room, "it's nobody's birthday unless I get some more sleep." "Okay mommy." My daughter grabs a stuffed Donald Duck dressed like Freddy Kruger and snuggles under the covers. I head back to my bed and climb under the covers. I feel myself get pulled close to my husband, "I missed you," he mumbles kissing my neck, I roll over and kiss his lips, "I missed you too." We make quick work of our clothes and have some adult fun before falling back to sleep.
          At around 7 I head down and debate on whether or not to make breakfast or just go to Starbucks, my husband just got home from a 6 month long tour so I'm sure he'd appreciate if I actually made something, I go with pancakes, I start a pot of coffee and make some batter then cut up some fresh fruit.
           We were sitting down for a nice breakfast when my best friend Blaine showed up with his son Jefferson. "Jeffy!," My daughter bounces around the kitchen and jumps on him. Blaine is holding a small Vamperina gift bag in his hand. "We won't be able to make it to the party, Elise has some plans and if she doesn't get Jefferson she's going to have my head." "Now that's a good birthday gift," my husband mutters, "the head of Blaine Graves." My best friend and my husband Chris used to be friends until about three years ago when Blaine was caught in bed with his sister. Now they just merely tolerate each other. No choice, Blaine plays bass in my band, Paige's Lament. There's also his twin sister Dylan, she plays lead guitar and her fiancée Stephani Olson, she plays drums, we also have a keyboard/synth player, Jill Keeslar, ope it's Mauro now, she got married to Vinny, the drummer for my husband's band shortly after the birth of their twins.(They just turned 2 not that long ago)I got married after my daughter's first birthday I used to be Alex Belmont, now it's Cerulli, it's been a crazy few years. Well enough about that, oops almost, can't exactly end without mentioning the rest of the family, my husband fronts a band too, Motionless in White. We're all one big happy family.
          "Now that's funny," Ricky says as Winter smashes a piece of cake into Chris's hair. "No it's not," he straightens up and grabs another piece of cake then does the same to Ricky, "now it is!" Me and Dylan burst out laughing. "Do they always have to act like children?" She looks over at Steph who's over at a table with some of the other children and my cousin Ryan (MIW's guitarist)they're finger painting. "Shut up you grown up," I walk away from her and scoop up Jill and Vinny's son Blair, I shake him upside down and Chris's phone falls out of his shirt. As well as my car keys, a guitar pick(that could literally belong to anyone here, but it is mine), and a necklace with a skeleton charm on it that I recognize as Winter's. "Alright ya little klepto," Vinny says taking him from me as I bend down to pick up the various items on the floor. "I'm checking him again before y'all leave." "Sounds good," he says walking away from me. I start to stand up only for my daughter to smash a piece of cake in my face. She runs away squealing.
          After the party I'm in the shower washing cake out of my hair when I hear a crash from my bedroom, I get out and grab a towel, it's the dog, the lamp on Chris's side of the bed is on the floor in pieces. "Dammit, Demon!" I'm picking up the larger pieces of glass when Chris comes into the room. He still has cake in his hair, but he's holding a broom and dustpan. "I'm surprised that damn dog made it a year," I stand up and my towel falls to reveal the new ink I have on my side, I got the vampire killer from my favorite video game 'Castlevania.' "When did you get that?" He touches it. "About 3 months ago."I move towards the trash can by the door to dispose of the glass in my hands. "Fuck!" I feel a piece dig into the heel of my hand as I throw it away. "What's wrong?" I lift my hand and all I can see is blood dripping down to my wrist, "perfect, just fucking perfect," I mutter." Chris grabs my hand and leads me to the bathroom, he opens my hand then the medicine cabinet to grab the first aid kit. "Am I ever going to have a birthday where you don't bleed?" He grabs the disposable tweezers and digs the glass out of my hand. "There was that one time you dragged me into your dad's workshop and had your way with me, no blood then." I chuckle and kiss him. "That was 15 years ago," he pulls his shirt off, opens the shower door pushes me inside and takes off his pants. "Oh, I see how it's going to be," I say as I'm lifted by my hips and pushed against the wall.
Almost an hour later we head to Winter's room, she's sitting on her table coloring and my cousin Ryan and our friend Justin(bassist for MIW) are passed out next to each other on the floor, she's done their "makeup", they look hideous. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and take a picture. Then I can't help myself I burst out laughing. Justin practically bolts up. "Wha..." Chris is right behind me laughing as well. Ryan is beginning to stir, he sits up. "Don't you two look," he pauses, "beautiful." Ryan pushes past us and heads for the mirror in the hallway, Justin at his heels. "Skye, this better not be colorstay!"He has bright pink lipstick and blue eyeshadow whereas Ryan's is eyeshadow is pink and his lips green. She actually did a good job, it's just the clash of colors. This kid is lucky she has parents that let her practice on us, we have actually allowed her to do our stage makeup(with very detailed instructions of course).
Later on I'm walking Demon, I notice a familiar car in front of Jill's old house around the corner,a new family in the neighborhood? Please don't be weird. Who am I kidding? Mine is the weirdest family in this neighborhood. I swear, step into my house and you'll think you've entered the world of eternal Halloween. I'm passing the house as I see a little girl run toward me and Demon, she looks about Winter's age. She stops in front of the dog. "Can I pet him?" "Yes you may, thank you for asking first," I crouch down and look at the girl, she looks familiar. "Where's your mommy?" I ask her. "Nevaeh!" I hear someone shout and recognize the voice, it's my father. I haven't seen him since the disaster of a Christmas at my house three years ago, "what did I tell you about talking to strangers?" "I'm sorry daddy," the girl says. Daddy? I stand up. "Hello, dad," I say. "Oh, it's just you," he says quietly. "What are you doing here?" I ask him. "I missed my family, and I thought about what Chris said." "When did you talk to Chris?" "About a year ago, I called to see if I could come visit my granddaughter and he said only if things really were different, I'd been sober for about a year at that point, but I was still a bit nervous about seeing you, I had a new wife, Nevaeh here was just starting to talk, things were crazy, but what he said was pretty helpful, I think I'm ready now." "I'm not so sure I am, but since I'm here now, well," I crouch down again. "This is your daddy?" I ask Nevaeh. "Yes," she answers me seriously, "and your name is Nevaeh?" Yes again, "Well then, I guess that makes me your big sister, my name is Alex." "I, I ha-have a sister?" "Yes sweetheart, you do," he bends down and picks her up. "And a brother-in -law, and even a niece." "Dat is so cool!" "Yeah, but your mommy kind of has a crush on your brother-in-law, so I think it'll be a while before they meet." "Who doesn't?" I mutter. "Would you like to come in?" My dad suddenly asks me. "Is he okay?" I gesture to the dog. "Yeah." We head inside and my dad removes Nevaeh's jacket. I hear 'Eternally Yours' playing softly in the background. "Is it true then?" I hear a female voice ask from the next room. "Is what true?" "That your stepdaughter is actually married to him." "I don't know, I know he has a kid with her, but as far as married, I don't know." I look at my dad, "Tami and a few of her friends all fan girl over them, even Blaine is on their radar, as well as others you probably know, they actually have it the worst over Ryan, well Tami's all about Chris, but the rest, I'm afraid of what will happen to those poor guys when they do meet." "Note to self, keep your wife and her friends away from my house." I'm now hearing 'Angel Eyes'. I decide to go introduce myself. I poke my head around the corner and see three women who look to be in their early twenties gathered around a large TV screen. "God I wish that was me, he's so fucking hot," a blonde with huge blue eyes and a sleeve on her right arm says. I look at the screen, it's the scene where me and Chris are writhing around on a bed. "Yeah?", I say, "not so easy filming that with about 20 different crew members around and he's trying to hide a stiffy." The blond looks up at me. "Oh my fucking god!," she shouts. The two others look up at me. "Hi," I smile, "I'm Ale..." I'm interrupted by a tall beautiful woman entering the room with a bowl of popcorn. "Alex Cerulli, vocalist and guitarist for Paige's Lament. I absolutely love PL, especially Blaine, god he's so sexy. I'm Ember, by the way," she sets the bowl down and flops down on the couch next to the blonde who I'm assuming is Tami, "Rachael," a woman with black hair and blue streaks says, "Kat," a shorter woman with red hair and spider bites on the floor says, "and the one absolutely fawning over Chris right now, that's Tami." I look at the screen again and giggle to myself, she's backed it up to the make out scene again. "Remind me to never bring her to my house." "Why's that?," Rachael asks, "he lives there. Is it okay if I join in, I don't get to hang out like this very often." "It's perfectly fine," Tami says, "but you have to play us a song." "Okay," I say slowly, "but I don't take requests." "I don't care, I have never seen PL live, even though it's only one song." "And it's just me." My phone starts ringing in my back pocket, it's Chris. "I'll be there when I get there, we have new neighbors." "You hate people." "It's my dad." "Oh, well, I got rid of Winter." "I'll be there soon," I hang up my phone and smile. "So does anybody have a guitar?" Tami jumps up and drags me to another room which is absolutely filled with music equipment. "I'm told most of this belongs to you." That's when I see it, my mom's old guitar, I learned how to play 'How Soon Is Now' on it when I was barely 3. I step to the corner of the room and pick it up.

1999

"I don't know," I practically growl at Dylan and Chris, "my dad left us $100 so we can order food, he said he'll be gone all weekend. I'm supposed to stay at your house," I look at Chris, "but your sister drives me crazy." "You know you better at least make an appearance or my mom will rat you out." Me him and Dylan are in my practice room doing absolutely nothing. I pick up a guitar and start to play 'Glycerine' by Bush. "Ali, you are sooo good," Dylan says after I finish the song."Have you ever thought about doing music? Like for real?" Chris asks me. "Nobody wants to play with me." I say quietly. "Blaine plays bass," Dylan says, "I could play drums, and how about it," she looks at Chris, "you could play guitar, it'll be the four of us." "Yeah-no. Lexi, are there any pizza rolls left?" He stands up and leaves the room.

Present Day

I grab the guitar and a mini amp that I can clip to my belt. The ladies step into the room and gather on the couch. "Okay," I say, "just one, then I have to go, I have an overgrown man-child at home who will resort to annoying me the rest of the night if he doesn't get what he wants." I strum a few chords then tune the guitar a bit. "This is usually a duet, it's called 'Why?' It's a song me and Ben Burnley did together a couple of years ago." I start to play the song and the girls go absolutely silent. When I'm finished I look at them, it appears as though Kat may have actually fainted. "Well, I have to go," I stand up, "can I take this with me?" I indicate the guitar. "Yeah sure," Tami says. "Demon!" I call out. I hear my dog scamper towards me. I clip on his leash and head for home.
I walk in the door and it's as expected, Chris is lounging on the couch watching TV playing on his phone. "Your dad moved into Jill's old house?" "Yeah," I unclip Demon's leash and set my mom's guitar against the wall. "Is that what I think it is?" "Yeah." "Is that the only word you know?" I laugh and straddle him. "Yeah," I kiss my husband and pull him on top of me causing him to drop the phone. "You certainly waste no time." "You got rid of Winter?" "You know it." "Well then," I stand up and start stripping as I head towards the pool. "Why, Mrs. Cerulli are you trying to seduce me?" I throw my panties at him and take off at a run, but he's too fast for me. The next thing I know is we're both naked and in the pool.
          Later on I'm sitting on the couch playing the guitar I brought home. It's the only thing covering me because I decided not to get dressed since no one is here. I haven't been able to do this in almost six years. Playing naked keeps me in a state of not wanting to murder someone, don't ask, plus it's led to some pretty fun times. I'm playing 'Tonightless' by Eighteen Visions'. I once played it at Warped to try to piss Chris off, I'm hoping for a similar effect now, except this time it's going to end a bit differently.

We can't wait another moment
Our time will come before we know it
With your heart you've got to open up this time
I don't want to be alone tonight

Am I gonna be Tonightless again
All of the loneliness has got to end
I know the years have been so bittersweet
But you don't have to go so please don't leave

Our souls are lost without each other
We've got to find time to recover
If you hold me close this heartache will subside
I don't want to be alone tonight

Am I gonna be Tonightless again
All of the loneliness has got to end
I know the years have been so bittersweet
But you don't have to go so please don't leave

I did mention a sequel, once 'I Am With You Forever, The End gets 100 views I'll post Chapter 2