💔I ᑎEᐯEᖇ ᔕᗩᗯ IT ᑕOᗰIᑎG💔

Logical Fallacies of a Broken Home

Voices that once soothed me to sleep are now yelling in the other room about how much I failed them
I'm sorry I don't know how to please you,
live up to standards that are not perfectly presented in front of me
I don't know how to live my life for you
Or for anyone else but me,
and even then I doubt my actions because you are the one who chooses my script
I play my part but what's my role in this?

I reach out into the dark void,
searching endlessly for a light switch
All I am met with is a hand grasping my wrist,
stopping me from finding the answers
Steel eyes open the doors to fire,
anger set ablaze in my father's eyes

He questions me,
questions why I'm so eager to discover what life is like when all light sheds down on the emptiness
Revealing what lies beneath

Frantic eyes accompany hysterical spirals
"But what about us? If you open up about your mother, they'll look into our dynamic. They will see how skewed our views are, no one understanding that this is our normal. If you open up to ANYONE they will take you away because they don't see this home as pure. You will die on the streets alone, taken away from a loving family. You don't want that, do you?"

Up until this point,
I didn't know skeletons could walk on their own once the closet has been open
I didn't know their chattering bones could spill out sounds and make words that reveal insecurities that to me aren't bad

I have no choice but to crawl into my bed,
lie under the crumbling roof of our broken home,
and wait for a piece to fall off and impale me,
finally causing my body to match my dead soul
I attempt to fall asleep,
knowing that it is in my dreams that I feel most alive

Once I come to the realization that death does not call upon me tonight,
I am left to ponder the ghosts of my past
I realize,
you say all of these things,
Dumb it down to nonsense and falsehoods
What you tell me is no longer valid,
it's no longer the truth

Am I not worth the truth?

Did you not think your cards will fall from your sleeve?
Well,
the fool is you for thinking your lies will trespass my thoughts any longer
Your ignorant claims mean nothing to me, for you are an ignoramus who's voice invalidates itself once it sticks to your cement lips

I submit to the darkness around me
Letting myself be forgotten to all others who claim to care
I rather be forgotten,
sometimes it feels good to be forgotten

The light fades as the voices increase in volume
I shut my eyes,
knowing I'm above their childish  communication
and unrealistic expectations