The Unfinished Dialogues of Smith and Doe

Act One, Scene Four

[It is a different day. Today is the day they will finish their book. Smith and Doe are in different clothes. Two coats hang on the coat rack by the door. There is a brown bottle, a whisky tumbler, and a tall glass beside the typewriter. Throughout the scene, Smith and Doe drink from these containers and alternate between them.]

Smith: Hmm...

Doe: Yes?

Smith: Is it moral of me to have published work that I was not proud of?

Doe: Why wouldn't it be?

Smith: Is it not immoral to be disingenuous to yourself and your readers?

Doe: Yourself, yes.

Smith: But the readers?

Doe: It is neither moral nor immoral.

Smith: How so?

Doe: Just because you cannot be proud of something, does not mean others cannot enjoy it.

Smith: Yes but-

Doe: There is a distinction between the artist and his viewers, the author and her readers.

Smith: I suppose.

Doe: Therefore it cannot be a dilemma of morals of others just because you face one yourself.
[Doe shows Smith the other a small pile of typed papers; they take a minute to read it]

Doe: Well?

Smith: Your character...

Doe: What about my character?

Smith: They're too rational.

Doe: Are we not rational beings?

Smith: We are irrational beings.

Doe: But it is ideal to be rational.

Smith: Yes.

Doe: Then why is being too rational a bad character trait?

Smith: Because art imitates life.

Doe: So shouldn't ideal art imitate ideal life?

Smith: Yes.

Doe: Then why not write ideal people?

Smith: Doesn't sell well.

Doe: But I mean, is it not our duty as authors to display morality in its best, to write story arcs and characters that show the best that humanity has to offer?

Smith: You sound like that German philosopher.

Doe: There's a few, which?

Smith: I don't know, the one with nationalist and racist ideals.

Doe: That could be any of them!

[Pause for comedic effect, but don't laugh]

Smith: Anyway...

Doe: Yes?

Smith: Maybe we should scrap this? Start over?

Doe: What are you talking about! We're almost done with this!

Smith: I know, I know.

[Beat]

Smith: I like it here, you know.

Doe: You could move here.

Smith: Yeah but... It wouldn't be the same.

Doe: The same? The same as what? You hate the city, you always complain about it.

Smith: Well, you wouldn't be here.

[Doe smiles at them]

Doe: Let's just finish then, we'll talk about it on the train back.

Smith: Let's talk about it now.

Doe: Smith...

Smith: It would be nice here, both of us. We could be neighbors!

Doe: I don't know. I have roots back home.

Smith: You mean your family? You talk so much about how much they hate you.

Doe: I know, but I just... can't leave them.

Smith: Yes, you can.

Doe: I can't.

[Beat]

Doe: You wouldn't understand.

Smith: Perhaps. But you would be happier outside of the house, wouldn't you?

Doe: I guess, yeah.

Smith: You can move them here. You can spend all your time at my place.

Doe: I'll think about it, alright?

Smith: Fine with me.

Doe: Let's just finish this.

[The authors take turns on the typewriter for a moment. The church bells ring out twice.

The clock on the wall shows an improbable time.]

Doe: I think that's it.

Smith: Yeah?

Doe: Yeah.

Smith: We need a title, though.

Doe: Oh yes, hm...

Smith: 'The Dialogues'

Doe: What, like Plato?

Smith: I guess, yeah.

Doe: Fine with me.

[Doe puts a blank sheet of paper in the typewriter and types the title onto it.]

Doe: What will our names be this time?

Smith: What about-

[Behind stage, there will be a brief moment of static, so the audience cannot hear what

Smith chooses to be their names.]

Doe: Alright.

[Doe types their names onto the cover page.]

Doe: That's it. We're done.

[Both authors get up and begin to pack. Doe collects a stack of papers, the manuscript,

and places it into a briefcase. Smith puts the typewriter inside its case. Both walk to the

door and put their coats on and look around the office.]

Smith: I don't really know what to say.

Doe: Don't say anything then.

Smith: Alright.

[Both exit stage right and the lights turn off. End scene.]