Lavender Liaisons

Howlette

Two bodies forged by the universe's mysteries,

thriving on the reprehensible delight that only the mind, soul and body can bear,

by writhing in a pain that is so bad it is heavenly, sublime, transcendent I tell you,

caused by the lush kisses and teasing bites brought on by exquisite full lips that tempt,

just as the eyes do with their ravaging stares,

that provokes an absurd feeling in the stomach,

a feeling that then spreads throughout the body leaving a drizzling sensation,

and the only evidence it leaves behind are the marks of tantalizing goosebumps,

which are as bittersweet as this remarkable action,

and this action I do speak of is something I have shared before but,

every other telling of this action of mine with another simply does not compare to it with her,

because with her it is not solely about the physicality and wonder,

it comes down to unifying the metaphysical,

in an unrelinquishing and tender connection that is undeniable,

which some call love,

and this part of the concept is raw,

raw because of the clenching, the scratching, the sacred wanton need that pumps through 

a body's veins,

it is fearful,

fearful because of the unveiling of vulnerability, the unknown of the level of atrocity the senses 

will encounter because of unwanted opinions of those that do not spare their fire,

and it is pleasuring,

pleasuring because of silk, white cotton sheets, an unapologetic gentleness, and an ever 

changing current of adoring movements,

and from this I do wonder how is this act defined as evil, unworthy, or spurious even,

because this action is viewed as sinful or is openly ignored by many,

not just by my own people,

and this brings on screams that then become shallow as it becomes ever so tiring,

feeling culpable for something that is unwarranted,

but it still stings,

it still stings every inch of you,

and to hide,

because of the fear of the unknown responses,

but still moving through it is better than denying yourself,

and because of that ideal I am no longer,

angry, melancholic, or afflicted,

but I will always have that fear no matter how hard I try,

because it holds so much weight,

weight that includes,

the treatment of the ones I care about, the violence that can and will concur, and the guilt that

 is caused by the prior weights;

this does bring about tears of every sanctity because there will never be absolute sanctuary,

and how I wish there would be,

because there is a gracefulness to this act that I share with her,

such divine, unfathomable, and alluring pleasure,

that I would never forgive myself if I were to deny it,

illusionary claws do not spare my chest as I even think of denying it,

and that is why I know,

I know that this is not vulgar or foul,

it is who I am and who she is,

along with so many others who are not a part of the nuclear family tradition,

and that is quite alright,

and no fiery shame nor ignorant violence will ever,

throw us away.