i didnt think youd make me stare at your ceiling the whole time but you did

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you said, can i add you to my call?
with my friend kiley.
she's really funny.
i said, sure.
i wanted to be alone with you.
i wanted to be pretty for you and only you.
kiley talked about people i didn't know.
her guitar was too loud.
kiley left to go shower.
now i'm alone with you.
we talk about how we miss band season.
i talk about winter guard and you talk about indoor drum line.
you play tenors. you must have those drummer hands.
i talk about how hawaii wasn't fun and you listen
i tell you about israel and georgia bread and masada and how the dead sea stinks and how the kids at the keshet school thought we were so cool.
you listened.
i say, it's almost 2 am
you say, i should go to bed
we do the thing where you awkwardly say things until it gets to okay, goodnight

you text me that i'm so cute.
it gives me butterflies.
i want more butterflies.
i want to give them flowers and sugar water and then take careful care of them until they won't flutter anymore
and then i will pin them and frame them in my jar of important things.

march 24

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