Stroke of Luck

Part Two.

Part Two.

A few days passed and those days turned into weeks and those weeks were sure turning into months, and before I knew it summer break was right around the corner. It had been close to three months that I had realized my feelings for Louis. I had tried to talk to him, but the fear kept me from doing so. In result, the relationship between Louis and I grew fragile and soon we had grown apart. It was awkward living in the same dorm with him, but I couldn’t bear the thought of moving out. We kept it civil outside of the room, but inside, the tension was high. He had tried to talk to me, but I had pretty much avoided him at all costs. Soon, Louis gave up and my heart shattered. The moment I felt that painful ache in my chest I knew what was going on.

There was no doubt in my mind now; I was in love with him.

I liked my best friend more than I should, and it made me oh so happy to accept it to myself. But the more I thought about it, the more afraid I had felt. I had never talked about homosexuality with Louis or anyone for that matter because there had been no reason for it, but now? Well, sure it would bring up some suspicion and the thought that Louis would stop talking to me crushed me. This was before I had kept avoiding Louis until he grew tired of my childish acts and pretty much cut all ties with me.

Now, summer break was in a week and it pained me to think that Louis was going home for it. True, these few months had felt like I was living in my own personal hell, but at least I could wake up and see Louis for at least a few minutes. Then when Louis would wake up, I would run out of the room and head to my classes early. I had even changed my class schedule to avoid being partnered up with him or seeing him smiling and laughing with Samantha.

How pathetic is that?

And to make everything worse, Louis and Samantha were together. They were joined at the hip day in and day out, no place for me even if I hadn’t been so childish. Louis had changed a lot ever since he and Samantha started going out. His hair was short and spiky, he wore button down shirts and jeans most of the time now, and he was even wearing bracelets Samantha had given him. The more he changed, the more I wanted to bite Samantha’s head off. Louis was perfect how he had been before, but now he looked like any other guy on campus. True, he was much more attractive than before, but still he shouldn’t have changed.

Ah, but who was I to say anything? Louis seemed happy and it made my chest expand when I would catch him smiling, but knowing that it wasn’t me the one who had put that smile on his lips, hurt like a bitch. What pained me more was when I would lay in my bed at night and Louis would come in later on, trying not to wake me up. I knew where he had been and had a fair idea of what he had been doing, and that didn’t help the cracks that formed around my heart all over again. If only I wasn’t such a coward, perhaps Louis and I would continue being friends even if Samantha was in the picture.

However, my heart and mind and soul didn’t want her there. I wanted him all to myself.

I lay back on my bed, sighing sadly, trying to bargain with my pride and fear that it was time to swallow these feelings and be there for Louis. What if he was serious about Samantha and needed I to be there for him? Even with Samantha by his side, Louis didn’t have many friends. He could be civil and talk to others, but the guy had issues and it took certain people to gain his trust. A trust I had shattered because of these feelings.

Damn it!

“Shawn, your phone is ringing.”

The sound of his voice caught me off guard. The sound of his voice made my heart flutter like it always has, and for a moment I imagined that he belonged to me. But alas, reality truly sucks. It had been months since he had talked to me willingly in our room. As a matter of fact, it had been a really long time since we were in the room together… alone. I swallowed painfully, trying to calm my heart, and raised from my bed to grab my cell phone.