The Pariah

"My past has tasted bitter for years now." ---Jaymes Young

He swung his feet over the side of the bunk bed and stood up, stretching his hands over his head. He was hungry, and he wasn't used to noticing his hunger. Nick knew how to be hungry, he knew how to deal with little food. This feeling of hunger showed him how truly underfed he was. He blinked as he tried to adjust himself, he saw Sam standing in the kitchen by the sink. He was bent over it and coughing into a napkin as quietly as possible. Nick frowned as he began to walk over to Sam, he hoped he wasn't sick. If Sam was sick, he would surely get the rest of them sick.

Sam turned away from him and straightened up as if he was putting on a show. That bugged Nick, if Sam was acting that meant he had something to hide. Usually, secrets got people hurt. It got Mia hurt. It got him hurt. Nick's whole life had been one lie after another and it had been miserable. Everything he had done had been to protect Mia, but it all came at a deep cost. It came at the cost of Nick not knowing who he was or what he wanted out of life. Nick knew what it was like to hide who you really were and how bad it felt.

He knew Sam was putting up his defenses, not that Nick could blame him. He was doing the same thing. This place was dangerous, showing any sort of weakness could get you in a lot of trouble. Carter was just waiting to use Nick's weakness to find a way to completely control him. Mia was a big part of it, and Carter knew that. That's why they were separated. Carter could claim this was just a part of the testing all he wanted, but Nick knew the truth. This was to totally shatter him.

"Morning," Sam greeted Nick with a nod of his head as he reached into the cabinet as if to cover up whatever that coughing fit was about. "How was your first night in The Pen?"

"The Pen?" Nick questioned, his voice came out deep due to the fact he was tired and he had just woken up. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand to try to get the sleep out of them. He needed to be alert for Carter's new torture technique. If he wasn't responsive enough, Nick was sure Carter would do something worse to him or to Mia.

Nick shuddered thinking about all of the things Carter could have done to Mia by now. He knew he couldn't go down that rabbit hole, because he wouldn't find his way out. He knew Mia was important to Barbatos and he wouldn't let his psycho of a son do anything too drastic to her. Mia had something Barbatos wanted, and Nick didn't really understand what it was, but from what he heard when Mia was talking in her sleep, she was decoding something. She would mutter numbers and then reorder them before saying 'not right', her mind was amazing. She could remember numbers she had seen hours before and was working through them.

It sickened Nick to think about the fact that part of Mia enjoyed this. Mia liked the challenge and the chase of knowledge. It was something she didn't get back in Noven. It still didn't make him sleep any better knowing that every time something was wrong his sister got the shit shocked out of her. He didn't care how much she enjoyed being challenged here, he would get her out of here. He would find her something better than this place.

"Sorry," Sam said snapping Nick out of the soundtrack of gore running through his mind. "We call this place The Pen, because we're kind of like animals that Barbatos gets to look at. Like an animal pen, get it?" Sam asked with a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair with a shake of his head. "It's stupid, I'm well aware, but I've been calling it that for years."

Nick blinked as he took in Sam's reasoning, he guessed it kind of made sense. He would call this more of a cage, but what did he know? Nick wouldn't win an intellectual debate so why even try? He was as dumb as a rock according to everyone in his life, and that soundtrack was starting to take root. Every day he heard how screwed up he was, and it was hard not to believe it. Sure, Nick was angry but he was also tired. The only reason he was still fighting was for Mia. If Mia wasn't here, he wasn't sure if he would be able to keep fighting.