Your heart fluttered, trapped inside your ribcage, as you reached the top of the astronomy tower. Cedric had given you an extra 30 minutes knowing you would undoubtedly be late. He had expected you there at Midnight, but set times weren't exactly your forte. He had is back to you, leaning against the railing. "Half an hour extra and you're still late! Punctuality is never something you will be good at, is it?" He grinned, turning to face you.
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you moved to sit, your legs dangling over the edge of the tower. He mirrored your movements, not saying anything, leaving the two of you to sit in a comfortable silence. His arm snaked its way around your shoulders, making your heart stop, then continue at a much faster rate. You wondered if he could tell. You sank into his embrace. It had been a rough day. You felt that you had let your team down as well as your house, and you were now expecting a letter from your father, telling you what a failure you were. He nudged your shoulder with his own, trying to get your attention, trying to make you smile.
You sent him a sideways glance, giving him a weak grin. You wanted so desperately to give him your full attention and forget about the rest of life's dilemmas, but the loss of today's game was weighing you down, eating away at you.
"(Y/N), it's one game. There will be others. Don't let one loss get you down! You were amazing today! I've never seen a Chaser score so many goals in such a short amount of time! That Potter kid just happened to catch the Snitch first, and it wasn't for Higgs' lack of effort. Potter made a reckless and seriously dangerous move, that just so happened to play out this time around, but if he hadn't, you would've won," he insisted, as you shook your head.
"That's the point, Ced! It doesn't matter what could have or should have happened. We didn't win. We could have and we should have... but we didn't. My father is going to be furious and to be honest, I really don't know if I can handle it, right now. I tried. I really did. We worked our asses off for that game and we went out there and gave it our all! That should have been enough, but it's not! It's not good enough! Not good enough for him! And now, I am never going to hear the fucking end of it! God, I'm so pathetic!" Tears welling in the corners of your eyes.
Cedric pulled you closer, his thumb rubbing slow and gentle circles into your arm. Your head fell onto his shoulder in exhaustion and defeat, as you felt another tear fall. "Hey... it's gonna be alright, (Y/N/N)! It's going to be alright! You're safe! Matthew is safe! You don't have to worry! Your Dad can't hurt you, not while your hear," he reasoned. You sighed weakly, knowing that his words were meant to comfort you, whilst simultaneously knowing that it was never that simple. It was easy for him to think that things would work themselves out, when he wasn't the one who had to return home, when he wasn't the one who had to face the fallout. You weren't sure how much more you could take, let alone how much more Matt could take.
"I'm sorry, Ced..." you mumbled into his robes. He turned his head to look at you, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion and deep concern.
"Why are you apologizing?" You shrugged, your head raging with a million different responses and a million different excuses. But this was Cedric... You didn't have to make up excuses and tell a lie just to preserve a reputation. You could be real. You could be vulnerable. You could let the walls down and admit that sometimes, life was just too much.
"I don't know... My mind just feels so weighted... I always feel as if I am going at this alone... Like I am shut off from the rest of the world... It's as if I am drowning in my own pool of misery, sinking with my own problems... and the worst part of it, is the fact that I can't escape them! There's no way out! God only knows what he would do to us, if I were to ask for help! And then to make matters worse, I push all of that anger and all of that disappointment and all of those feelings of failure onto you. The truth is, I am an awful friend to you! We're never able to spend time together out in the open and every time I see you, I am forced to pretend as if I hate you! God, I hate this! I hate my father for what he's done! I hate him for what he's done to Matt and to my mother! I hate him for what he has made me into! I hate myself for pretending and for giving in to his demands... And I hate myself for treating you so terribly... when everything you do is so loyal and compassionate and comforting! The whole damn situation is so fucking unfair! I don't know how to keep doing this, Ced! I don't even know if I can! I am in so much pain and I am so exhausted from it all, but if I'm not there, what happens to Matt? What happens to Mum? I don't know what to do... I can't keep doing this alone..." you shouted in frustration, your words trailing off and dissipating into the night air. Your hands trembled, leaving you feeling so completely vulnerable, as if you had just revealed your most deeply kept secret. Cedric shook his head as he took your shaking hands in his own.
"Please don't say that, (Y/N)! Don't say that you hate yourself... Please! It makes me absolutely sick with worry!" He held your hands more tightly, his fingers intertwining with your own, as you closed your eyes, wanting to find comfort in his touch. "Do you really feel that way? Do you really feel as if you are all alone?"
You sighed, heavily, eyes still clamped shut. What were you supposed to say? The truth? "I mean... Yes... It feels like my life is a house of cards and one wrong move will bring it all tumbling down on top of me... My world feels as if it is a ticking time bomb... But Matt... I have to keep fighting both an internal and external war in order to protect my baby brother... God... He's only eleven years old... And he relies on me to give him guidance and to protect him... But who is going to protect me? Who is going to give me guidance?" He was quiet for a moment, before he gripped your chin in between his fingers, gently forcing you to look at him.
"Look at me, (Y/N). Open those beautiful (E/C) of your's and listen to me. You... Are... Not... Alone! Nor will you ever be! I will always be here for you! You are my best friend and I promise you, that I will never abandon you! Never!
Before you knew what you were doing, your lips were colliding with his. He tensed, sitting still, before shifting to kiss you back. His hand moved to your waist, as he pressed his lips into your own. It felt as if there were millions of fireworks exploding inside your head, every nerve ending in your your body, was coursing with electricity.
He pulled away, abruptly. His face a look of shock and confusion, as he moved his fingertips to his lips. He started at you as if caught off guard, before his expression contorted into a deep frown. He stood up without another word and took off running towards the staircase.
"I have to go," he mumbled as he disappeared down the steps. You sat on the edge of the tower, your moth agape. You slowly shook yourself out of the daze you appeared to be in. Did that really just happen? Was that real?
Suddenly images of the frown that coated his handsome features flashed throughout your memory, making you gasp. You rose to your feet, shaking uncontrollably, tears falling down your face, heartbroken. You had just lost your best friend....
Oh My God! What have I done...?
YOU ARE READING
Too Shy To Tell You (Cedric Diggory x Reader)
Fanfiction(Y/N) Middlebrook was terribly excited for her fourth year at Hogwarts, but at the same time, she was extremely anxious. This was the year she wanted to tell her crush that she was hopelessly in love with him. But how? Cedric Diggory. He was practic...
