Love Me In Secret (Asanoya)

Chapter 1: Comfort

Nishinoya's POV

       I felt a slight vibration in the pocket of my shorts, soon before hearing my annoying ringtone. The volume made me jump, since I never put it on silent mode. If I did, then I probably wouldn't know somebody was calling, since it was common that I get lost in my own thoughts and not hear it.
       Taking my phone out, I read the name popping up on screen: Tanaka.
Grinning, I pressed the green answer button and held my phone up to my ear.
       "NISHINOYA!" Tanaka yelled into the speaker, making me cringe. Did he really think he could greet me louder than I could greet him?! NO WAY.
       "TANAKAAAAA!" I took the phone away from my ear and held it right in front of my mouth so that it would be even louder!
       I heard wheezing and laughing from the other side, and heavy steps hitting the concrete at the same time. Is he running or something? I thought to myself, waiting for an answer.
       "S... STOP WALKING SO FAST!" I could hear his voice not only through the phone, but also echoing behind me. At first I thought my connection was broken or something, however I turned around to see Tanaka running (sprinting, rather) towards me from behind.
      I stopped walking to let my bald friend catch up. Looking both ways, he crossed the street diagonally because screw the rules, and stopped beside me. Resting his hands on his knees, he started to catch his breath, gasping as if there was no more oxygen left in the atmosphere.
I slid my phone carelessly back into my side pocket.
      I grabbed Tanaka's shoulders, pushing off of them to make me jump higher- which caused him to somewhat loose his balance.
I hadn't talked to him that morning yet, so I was ecstatic to finally be able to see him and reunite.
       "Quit it, short stack!" He teased me, shoving his hands into my face to make me fall back.
Regaining my balance, we both started drowning in laughter, which is what usually happens when we finally get together. Things were never dull when me and him, best friends, were together.
        Continuing on our way to school for morning practice, Tanaka was sort of... off. He wasn't talking as much as he usually did, nor did he have the usual bounce in his step that I noticed he always had before practice when he was full of energy.

       For a while, we walked in silence- me not knowing what to ask him and him just plainly not conversing with me.
       Okay... somethings up. Something's wrong. But do I ask him what's wrong, or do I wait until he tells me? What if nothings wrong and he's just tired.... No! Even when he's tired he talks endlessly. What the heck could be wrong?
        I wanted to ask him, but you see, the moments when Tanaka is like this are rare, so it's not like I have much experience in interrogating his thoughts and feelings.
       I hastily glanced up at him to see if his expression could give me a hint as to how he was feeling, but Tanaka just had a neutral expression glued to his face; his mouth was flat and his eyes squinting a little from the brightness of the rising sun.
Snapping my head back in front of me, I decided to play it cool- play it subtle.
       "How is your morning so far?" I asked, forcing myself a little to be as casual as possible. I hope he doesn't realize that I probably wouldn't ask that.... I thought, panicking a little.
He looked down at me, smiling.
       "Yep, I'm alright," he replied genuinely, still looking at me, "I was just thinking... about your messages from last night."
       The blood from my face drained, leaving me a pale white. My palms were perspiring, and my heart skipped a beat. I had completely forgotten what I had told him late the night before.
       I turned away, my cheeks a soft pink colour with embarrassment. He probably doesn't want to be friends anymore. He probably thinks I'm gross. The thoughts raced through my head as I remember he never replied to my messages; he only read them. My lip trembled. Is he going to get mad at me? I shouldn't have just surprised him with my sudden news... the regret ached in my chest, pounding on my insides.
        Tanaka stopped walking. "Yuu, I know I never replied, but I've been thinking about it quite a bit, and—"
       "You think I'm gross, don't you?!" My voice cracked at the end. I don't think I had ever felt more vulnerable than I did at that moment; tears were trying to escape the corners of my eyes but I held them back, afraid of what might happen if I let them loose. I clenched my teeth, my nose twitching a bit from me trying not to cry.
       I waited for Tanaka to agree, I waited for him to say 'yeah, duh! You're so gross, what's wrong with you!' but...
he didn't.
       Tanaka put his hands on my shoulders, then pulled me into a comforting hug. "Yuu, it's not gross. I just never expected you to be..."
       "Bisexual," I mumbled.
       "Yeah, bisexual. I don't think it's gross. It's just who you like, anyway," Tanaka had an accepting tone in his voice. "I'm really happy you told me."
       I backed off from him and pressed my sleeves to my eyes to dry them. "It's ok that I'm into guys as well as girls?" I questioned again, just to make sure I heard him correctly.
       He started walking again, pushing my by my shoulder. "Yeah! What kind of best friend would I even be if I didn't accept you? Just as long as you don't have a crush on me!" he laughed.
       I started walking at a steady pace with him, chuckling to myself, "I have standards, Tanaka."