We've All Been More Than Eager To Syn

You've Lost Your Chance, Big Boy

The rest of the night we kept flirting with each other. We would sneak kisses but always hid them from Matt. Both of us weren't ready to tell him yet. We hadn't really talked about where our relationship stood so we wouldn't have an explanation for Matt if he caught us.

I felt like if I was floating that night. I felt loved and all giddy. That is, until I saw her. I had seen her around the studio with the guys sometimes but never caught her name. I didn't even know why she was at the party.

She was sitting next to Brian. I was okay with that. I wasn't about to go all psycho on her for that. But then her hands decided to do some touching. That's when I started getting mad.

Her smooth, manicured fingers touched his knee. They ran up his leg. They were talking near the bar and I was across the reception, looking at them with a cup of wine in my hand.

He said something to her and she giggled. Jealousy ran up my body. He took a sip of his drink and turned away from her. He turned back and she kissed him.

Wait wait wait. Hold up. She kissed him? And he didn't stop her?! My wine slipped from my fingers. The glass crashes to the floor. Brian pulled away from her but didn't say anything.

My hand flew to my mouth as I chocked back tears. I ran into the bathroom and the sobs I was choking in finally came out. If anybody would have come in right now they might of have thought that an animal was dying in here.

No one came in though. I half expected Brian to come in and say he was stupid for letting that bitch kiss him. Make some excuse up and as I screamed at him he would shut me up with a kiss.

But that did not happen. I put my hands on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyeliner was smudged and ruined on my cheeks.

But I decided I needed to be strong. He wouldn't see me like this. He didn't deserve me being like this for him.

So I washed my face and walked out. I needed to show him he didn't matter to me.

I sighed. How did I let myself fall into this? He was making my eyeliner all like this.

I knew it! I knew it! I screamed internally. He's a big player. I hit the wall and cried some more. I wiped my tears and took a hold of my bag.

I opened the door and went to where Matt and Zacky were at.

"Matt I'm gonna go home early. Can

I take your car?" I asked him with a low voice.

"Yea. Here are the keys. Be careful." he hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

On my way out, Brian's firm hand took a hold of my arm.

"Michaela. Babe, where are you going?"

I wiped my cheeks and looked at where his hand was holding me.

"Don't call me that. And let go. Please." my voice cracked in the end.

"Hey. What happened? Are you crying?" he tried to hold my face but I turned away.

"I saw."

"Saw what?"

"I saw you with her. I should've known you didn't change."

"Wha-oh. Michaela no. She doesn't mean anything to me. I didn't want it. She just-"

"Just stop! You've lost your chance, big boy." I freed my arm and ran to the car, not looking back.

I arrived home. I got in the house and put the car keys away. I went to my room and changed to my pjs. I got ready for bed and laid on my bed.

I knew this would happen. All of this with Brian, but I didn't stop myself.

And now I feel like a complete fool...

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Happy Halloween! (picture at side)