Confessions of a Modern Muslimah

Preface

        Growing up, I have never thought about the need to be loyal to a religion - to Islam. In fact, the idea of praying five times a day seemed like a chore more than a duty - and it sickened me. I have never felt the need to be connected to Islam or even bother trying to be a better Muslim. The only thing about me that was Muslim was the fact that I greeted other Muslims with 'Assalamua'laikum' and that I was born with the title of a Muslim.

        Looking back, no one in my family prayed five times a day. Everybody went on with their lives without feeling the need to pray. We all knew the importance of praying - at least that was what I thought - but none of it deemed worthy of the ten minutes. In addition, I only had a real taste of Islam when I first learnt how to pray at 11 years old. At that moment, I never really realised why there was a need to pray. This may sound like I was blaming my family, but in truth this was the situationed I grew up in.

        I'll admit. I have strayed from the religion for too long of a time. I've made many choices that I am deeply ashamed of - choices that I very much regret making. But what is the use of this realisation without any repent? Thoughts will remain as thoughts and words will remain as words; without any actions, nothing mattered.

        My name is Husna Zahara and this is my journey to Islam.