The trouble with love...

Not Good Enough...

The deafening drum of Natalie's erratic heartbeat drowns out the sounds of the rattling bus and buzz from anxious passengers. It feels as though she is trapped in a small, black box and the walls are closing in on her, suffocating her.

She can't breathe, nor see past her hands resting on her thighs in front of her. Panic and anxiety choke her, grabbing at her thoughts and snatching the air out of her lungs. Suddenly the feeling of a rough hand on her thigh snaps her back to reality. The walls open up and the box melts away. Slowly the chatter of passengers and rattling of the bus make their way back to her ears. Her heartbeat slows down to a normal rate. She looked down at his tanned hand against her coppery, brown thigh. Charlie wasn't pale, no, not even close, but his hand looked pale against her bronzed thigh.

Her eyes followed the hand up a muscled arm and soon her brown eyes collide with his crystal blue ones. He smiles at her and in his smile is reassurance, the promise that everything will be okay. She gives him a small smile back, a 'thank you' to his reassurance, then turns back to gaze out the window. Natalie loves Charlie to bits, but no amount of reassurance is going to calm her frayed nerves. She knows these next few days are going to be the most difficult days of her life, and it's all because of HER

"Care Bear!" her shrill voice screeched as they walked down the gravel driveway towards the house. Charlie immediately dropped all the bags he was carrying and opened his arms, which she happily jumped into. They hugged and Charlie spun them around, the sound of their joyous laughter filled the air. The rest of the family made their way towards Natalie, leaving the two of them in their own happy, little bubble.

David, Charlie's oldest brother, took the bags from her, after a quick smile and awkward 'hello' hug. Next was Cody, the second oldest sibling. He gave her his signature goofy smile, before engulfing her in a big bear hug. "Careful now Cody, or you'll break her," Sandra's lilting voice rang out, her southern drawl making it all the more lovelier. Cody just laughed before giving me one more squeeze. Sandra just smiled. Her lovely strawberry blonde hair looked golden in the sunlight and her cheeks looked extra rosy. She gave Natalie the tightest hug she could manage with her round pregnant belly creating a barrier between them. Sandra was David's wife and while he was more stern and serious, she was fun and free.

They already had two children. Jordan, who was 7 and Haylee who was 4. Both of them the spitting image their daddy, blue eyes, blonde hair and that classic country smile. "Where's Ella?" Natalie asked Cody, after noticing she wasn't outside with the welcoming party. Ella was Cody's fiance. They got engaged last month and the wedding was scheduled for next year in the spring. "She has some work to do in the next town, but she'll be here tomorrow," he said.

Of all Charlie's siblings and their spouses, Natalie connected the most with Ella. She made her feel less...like an outsider. As they all approached the front porch, Charlie's dad, Mr. Brown, gave Natalie a stiff smile and a short nod. He still hadn't completely accepted her, but he accepted that she was part of Charlie's life and that was more than she could say for Mrs. Brown. Even though his smile was stiff, Natalie's was big, warm and full of love. What can she say, Mr. Brown was basically an older version of her Charlie.

All the Brown men had the same signature golden, blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, deep dimpled smile and chiseled cheeks. They were all very handsome, but Charlie was the most handsome, in Natalie's eyes. "Oh, Care Bear. I've missed you so much! Why haven't you visited me?" Mrs. Brown's voice broke Natalie's thoughts. "Mama, you know I can't visit you as much as I'd like to," he said. She scoffs, rolling her eyes before throwing a nasty look Natalie's way. "I wish you didn't have to live in that big stuffy, city so far away. I don't see the point," she said.

"I told you mama, Natalie's job is in the city. We can't move out here," came Charlie's reply. The same reply he always gives her whenever she talks about them moving out of the city, but everyone knows she would prefer if he moved back here...without Natalie. "Never mind that, let's get you inside. I'm sure you're starving after such a long journey," she said, walking past, completely ignoring Natalie, not even throwing a 'hello' her way.

This was the relationship between Carol Brown and Natalie Laker. The mother that thought she'll never be good enough for her son. 

That's the first chapter. hope you guys like it.