Passion.

Chapter Twenty Three

"You're going to stay here with Reggie. I'll go in first, and he'll protect you in the car for now. He'll know if or when I need back up, but I'm positive I won't."
"Let me go in with you, or atleast let him." I say. Roan gets out of the car and I swiftly step out behind him. "No, you are to stay here. I don't care if Reggie rushes in or you think there's an emergency going on. I've decided within this car ride that I'm not ready for you to see all of this." He kisses my forehead and walks away. Leaving me feeling anxious, worried, and a little bit empty. I need to follow him. I don't care what he just said. I go to walk away when I feel Reggie grip my arm. "No, you're not going in there." His demeanor is cold yet worrisome. I release his arm with my other hand and walk faster. "What did I tell you! You're so fucking stubborn." He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I kick his stomach and say "Let me go!" Like a pathetic child, but he's just to strong. He places me in the car and I huff. "Roan ordered me to keep you here." "So what? Now you follow his orders? I thought that wasn't 'Reggie Richardson style" I say, sarcastically. "I'm protecting you." He steps closer. "Well I don't need your protection." He walks even closer. "Do you know how hard it's been to keep my hands off of you? To not look at you when you walk by me and your tits are perfectly perked up. To not stare at your lips when you kiss other men."
No. Nope. I'm not falling into this trap again. He spreads my legs apart and places his body between them, but I don't feel anything for him. All I feel is the urgent need to protect my men. I get up and push past him, shoving him out of my way. He grabs me once more, but I step on his foot and elbow him. "I swear to god you need to get the Fuck off of me."
He releases me and I walk fast. But before I go in I hear him shout, "You're not gonna like what you see Claire!" "I don't care!" I yell back. As soon as I step into the cabin, I know I've made a mistake. There's so much blood. So many dead bodies. There's about ten men that were just murdered, lying dead on the floor. I expected this, and while theres shock running through my veins, what pains me even more is seeing Roan with their blood on his hands. I've always had a great amount of respect for Roan, and what he does. He's shown his strength and powerful mind time and time again. But he's also shown his true colors to me, ones no one has been able to see except for me. Only my eyes have witnessed his playful, gentle, caring and selfless self and now, In a way, it's being slightly taken away. I know the other men who are working for Roan have dirtied their hands with peoples lives as well. It's just different seeing my man up there. When he realizes I'm in the room he screams, "Claire get out of here. Now!" With terror in his eyes. A sting of fear pulses through me, and I realize I have to get out of here. Not out of this cabin, but away. Away from all of this. Away from the antagonist that is Reggie, away from the lifestyle that makes up Roan and David's life. I run out and into the car. Reggie stops me before I begin to drive. "Where the fuck are you going?" "I want to go somewhere far away from here. Where I can get away from this madness. Please Reggie, I'm sure you can get another car. I'm sure the other men have cars. Just please let me be alone. I'm begging you."
With that, he lets me drive away. But even if he didn't, I would've fought to get what I want anyway.
I begin to drive, feeling pain and dwelling in whatever this feeling is. It's anger, and pain, yet, as I'm driving embarrassment falls on my face. He was just protecting me. That was the entire point of this whole thing. Why did I leave? Why did I react like that? I can't control my anxiety or how I feel about all of this, and I guess it's been piling up, so I've just been holding it in for to long. My thoughts are interrupted when I see a headlight shine and speed up to get behind me.
Someone's following me.
I hit the gas and go faster, but they continue tailgating me.
I have no idea who this is, and I need to get them off my ass before I go crazy.
I'm impulsive when I hit the throttle at full speed and break suddenly. The seatbelt doesn't help because I wind up smashing my head on the steering wheel and in just seconds, everything goes black.
I wake up in the hospital to an unfamiliar face.
My vision is a little blurry, so I can't tell who it is right away. But when I realize it's just a doctor, I'm relieved. "Claire, you were in a car accident."
Oh my god.
I'm so fucking stupid. Of course I was in a car accident. I caused the car accident.
"You've been asleep for two days straight, I don't know how, but your heart rate has been really steadily low. We got it up today, that's why you're awake now. Your head was largely affected, but the rest of your body managed to make it through."
I have one question through all of this. "Who was the other person involved?" I ask. "The man says he knows you. A.. ah what was his name?" He thinks to himself for a moment. "Oh, his name is David Smith." What? "Excuse Me? I don't think I heard that properly." "Yes, David Smith. He got wheeled in as soon as you did." I immediately rise out of the hospital bed. I hit David. I purposefully hit my David. I didn't know it was him, but still. This is all my fault. "What's his room number?" I ask. "33C." I get up and walk out. I don't care that the doctor is telling me not to, I need to see him. I need to see if he's okay. I stopped the car so fast that he must've knocked right into me and hit his head as well. I hope he's okay. Please make him be okay. I need him. I finally find 33C and open the door. He's okay. He's asleep, but the monitor says his heart rate is at 87 and his vitals are perfect.
I take a deep breath.
He's okay. I burst into tears immediately. What if he hadn't made it Claire? How would you feel then? I question myself. What if I was responsible for his death? No. I can't think that way. "He's okay." I say to myself. "Of course I'm okay." David says, gentleness clear in his voice.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you. I thought someone was following me, but that's still not an excuse. I should've never stepped on the break like that. I'm so sorry David, I really didn't mean to." He grabs my face and kisses my lips. "There is no reason for you to be sorry. You were terrified. After what you had just seen, the nerves you were going through. I'm okay." "But if you hadn't been I would've never forgiven myself. I almost lost you."
"But you didn't baby. You'll never lose me."
And in this moment, I realize how deep my love for him goes. My feelings and heart runs deep for both of these men, and almost losing David nearly broke me. I almost lost Roan, and now him. All because the  other Mafia People want me. They want to hurt the woman Roan and David love, but I'm afraid they've gone to far. They will kill both of them, and I can't take that chance. Their death has become my biggest fear. So, even if they're not mine anymore, even if I have to keep my distance and never see them again, I'll be okay knowing that they're safe.
I have to let them go.