PROJECT NIRVANA | ONC2020 ✔️

Chapter 8.

I stood up from the couch, my head spinning with unruly questions. It was as if my mind had convulsed into a tangled web.

This was getting too much to handle. The glitches and black hole had been the root of my previous anxiety, but now I faced unimaginable danger. Confusion broiled within me but there was nothing I could do.

And now, everyone was staring at me due to my sudden movement.

"I--I think I need some fresh air," I stuttered.

Then I dashed out of the room, out of the house, as if running away from the fear that threatened to eat me alive. But I knew that I could never really escape it. Nirvana was my home, so this was my problem. And I would need to face it head-on.

I had tried so hard to be brave but now the facade was melting away, leaving me bare and empty. If only there was a way to stop this. To go back to when I didn't know anything. When everything had been normal.

My legs trembled, and it felt as if I would collapse. I settled on a nearby bench, running my hands through my hair and trying not to panic.

Everything would be okay, I told myself. There was no reason to become hysteric. I was only overreacting due to the overwhelming amount of information that had just been revealed to me. My brain only needed some time to calm down.

In the silent, gray darkness, only the quiet trees gave me company. Soon, the sun would rise and danger would draw near, reaching for me and dragging me into the center of the unknown.

But there was nothing I could do except run. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted to fight. Even though I wasn't quite sure who or what my enemy was.

I felt the bench creak slightly as someone sat beside me, but I didn't bother to look up. It would be embarrassing to be seen getting swept away by a violent surge of emotion.

"Hey." Avron's voice dragged me out of my thoughts.

I covered my face with my hands. I didn't want him to see that I was crying. I'd often detested people that cried when things didn't go their way. Those who weren't strong enough to ignore the torment and pain. But now, it was happening to me. I was becoming one of those people.

Avron placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I know how it feels to question everything that you believed in. Remember, we're going through this together. You don't need to go through this alone."

He leaned closer to me. "It's a secret, but I actually cried when I first realized what was going on. I think it was about five years ago."

I lifted my head up. "You did?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "I was just too frustrated about everything and being unable to change it. Having to question everything that was a part of my life made me scared. And I'm still scared now."

A reluctant smile found its way on my lips despite my attempt to repress it. Suddenly, I didn't feel so lonely anymore. I realized that I wasn't suffering through this by myself. I had Avron. And we would get through this together.

"It's a lot to take in," Avron continued. "So, maybe we should take a vacation. Go somewhere comfortable and warm."

I raised an eyebrow. "A vacation? In this situation?"

"Yeah," said Avron. "But it wouldn't exactly be a vacation. Dr. Frazier said that there's a beach at the south-end of Nirvana and we could find our memories there."

I shivered. They were probably memories from before we had come to Nirvana. But did I want to find them? For me to have made the drastic decision to lock myself in a made-up world, the past must have been quite unpleasant.

"Dr. Frazier said that the only way for us to survive is to wake up from the simulation," Avron continued. "But to do that, we need to recover our memories."

I remembered that eerie room. The glowing blue light and the person in the white protective suit. Snippets of sound echoed in my ear like forgotten dreams, threatening to clutch me in their horrible grasp. Instead of sitting here in fear, it would be better to face this head on. I wouldn't run away.

Dr. Frazier suddenly stepped out of the house, making his way towards us. His footsteps made little sound on the dry ground as he approached, his shadow already seeming to fade.

It would not be long before the sun revealed its first golden rays, sealing me and Avron's dreaded fate. I refused to think about what would happen if we didn't get to the south-end on time.

Dr. Frazier stopped in front of the bench and stood silently for a moment. "I have a confession to make."

I waited for him to speak. Even trying to guess what he might say was impossible at this point. The bizarre events of the past few days coupled with the information I had learned just a few minutes ago, was leaving me feeling both unaffected and numb. The surreal was beginning to become my new normal.

"There were two scientists that created this simulation, titled 'Project Nirvana'," said Dr. Frazier. "And I am one of them."

Before I could stop him, Avron leapt up and grabbed him by the collar, pulling roughly at the fabric.

"You're what? You're the person who put us in this place?"

"There's no use getting angry," Dr. Frazier said in a solid tone. "It was your choice."

Avron's hold on him loosened. "Our choice?"

"You chose to come here to escape your lives. To escape reality."

"Then you must be able to get us out of here," I said. "Since you programmed it."

Dr. Frazier shook his head. "Unfortunately, I'm not in a position where I can be of much help. My partner and I experienced a falling out and she trapped me in the simulation. I'm stuck here just like the two of you."