Verafalsa | Different Worlds, One Tunnel

1

I know.

I know it's not my fault.

I know that.

But, deep inside, I keep blaming myself.

Tell me.

What did I do right?

____

I opened my eyes, feeling the sudden heat hitting my face. The curtains were slightly opened. The sun rays getting pass through it.

What day is it? Ah, it's Sunday.

My bed is a mess, my clothes everywhere. I don't remember which were the ones I wore and which wasn't. My blanket drags along the floor.

I spun around in my bed, trying to get a closer look at my clock.

9:12.

I yawned and stretched my arms and feet. I then layed there for a moment. I tried to reconstruct my thoughts, trying to figure out why I was sweating so much.

Is it because of the heat? Or...

...Ahh, I remember...

Strawberry died.

Yeah, I know that already. Did I dream about it again? Yep, I did. If only I could move on, if only I could remove that portion of my memory... Maybe, just maybe...

If it's only that easy...

I rolled off my bed, letting me hit the cold hard floor. The sounding thud filled the room. I laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling. I realized I just rolled off my bed on my own accord, not when I'm having a nightmare.

I heard fast foot steps coming near my bedroom. The door opened widely. "Amatoshi, is everything alright?" My mother came running to me. I stared at her, as I couldn't get a word out of my mouth.

She sighed and helped me stand up off the dirty floor. She placed my arm around her neck and pulled me up. I stumbled at the process.

It seemed as if I couldn't stand up.

"Amatoshii." She called. I removed my arms around her and sat back down the bed. I blinked a couple of times. "Yes, mom?" I finally answered.

She cupped both of my cheeks in her hands. She looked at me and smiled softly. "Amatoshii." She said once again. "Breakfast is ready so get ready."

She let my cheeks go and kissed my forehead. She closed the opened door then left me in the room. I stared sleepily on the messy floor.

I stood up, jumping in the process to wake me up. I punched the air a couple of times so I couldn't fall asleep. The dark room was only lit up by the sun.

I stood in front of the mirror, seeing my reflection. My white hair was a mess and my used to be bright red eyes was now left with only a dulled red color. My skin was bandaged at some part. I guess Strawbery's death took a deep toll on me....

I'm now in highschool. It seemed like it was a dream and didn't felt real whenever I think about it. I couldn't believe I was still holding out without Strawberry and Cat by my side.

Ever since Strawberrry died, I've felt broken and so was Cat. I was so shocked I couldn't talk properly. I never thought I would experience someone die in front of my two eyes at a young age. I really couldn't accept it was real. That that was the reality. I was in a state of denial. I even begged the doctors that it wasn't true.

School wasn't even helping. I started getting bullied by my white hair. Scary, they say. Weird, they say. Cat was there to help me. He was my safe space. Even though he had new group of friends, he wouldn't leave me aside. He also introduced me to them, and they seemed nice, though I can't trust them. I just can't move on.