Graduation Ball.
I smiled at the camera in front of me. I am wearing a dark blue v neck long dress. And its backless.
Its his favorite color.
Kasama ko sa lamesa si Clarisse. And Charlotte. Binati ko siya. She looks like a princess in her peach strapless ballgown.
We did the cotillion. While dancing my gaze were on Rafael. He was dancing with someone from the last section.
Pagkatapos kumain ay umakyat na sa ginawang stage ang banda ni Rafael.
"Are you guys enjoying?" Malakas na tanong ni Rafael.
Agad ay nagsisigaw ang lahat nagsitayuan sa kanilang inuupuan. I remained seated.
"Vivianne tara sa malapit" sigaw ni Clarisse dahil sa ingay.
I haven't told her anything.
"I'll finish my food first" nakangiti kong tugon. She smiled at me then left. Ako lang mag-isa sa lamesa namin.
Nasa malayong gilid ng stage ang lamesa namin kaya kita ko ang kaganapan sa stage. Medyo madilim rin sa banda ko. Nakaharap ako sa stage at pinapanood sila.
Nagsimulang magstrum ang gitara. Hanggang sa sinabayan ng drums.
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows
On my wall
All night
Hearing voices
Telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good
For something
..............
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now
You can't tell
But stay awhile
And maybe then you'll see
Nag-uunahan sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko. Mabuti na lamang at nasa madilim ako na parte at busy ang mga tao kaya walang nakakapansin sa pag-iyak ko rito.
Nang matapos ang unang song at tinawag ni Rafael ang makakaduet niya ay nagmadali akong lumabas ng gymnasium.
I can't do it.
Hindi ko kayang makita silang magkasama.
Nang tuluyang makalabas ay tumakbo ako papunta sa may puno ng mangga hindi kalayuan sa gilid ng gymnasium. Nadapa pa ako bago tuluyang nakalapit dahil sa mga ugat nito.
I cried hard. So hard because of the pain. Because of him.
Rafael:
Kung hindi rin lang ikaw ang dahilan
Pipilitin ba ang puso kong hindi na masaktan
Charlotte:
Kung hindi ikaw
Ay hindi na lang
Pipilitin pang umasa
Para sating dalawa
Rinig na rinig ko ang tilian sa loob ng gymnasium.
I guess everyone around us knew. Except me.
I listened and trusted him. Naniwala ako sa lahat ng sinabi niya. Hindi ko pinakinggan ang mga narinig ko.
How stupid of me.
I love him so much.
I gave all my heart to him. Kahit hindi kami. Kahit walang label. Because I trusted his words. He assured me.
But it was all a lie. Kasi may girlfriend na siya. Before he came to me. Before I thought he was mine. He was already someone else's.
Hindi ko na tinapos ang graduation ball. I went home. Cried myself to sleep.
Weeks passed. Wala akong natanggap kahit isang Hi mula kay Rafael.
I still see him. Sa church. Tuwing may practice para sa graduation. Pero parang hindi kami magkakilala. Parang wala kaming pinagsamahan. Ang sakit lang.
Clarisse was so angry when I told her everything. Gusto niya raw pag-untugin si Rafael at Charlotte. I told her na walang kasalanan si Charlotte. Wala siyang alam sa ginagawa ng boyfriend niya. She doesn't know that he was cheating on her.
Clarisse wanted me to tell Charlotte everything. Dapat daw hindi lang ako ang nasasaktan. At para na rin daw kay Charlotte. So she will know the truth.
I don't know if I should tell her.
Pinag-isipan ko yung mabuti. And I decided I will tell her after our graduation.
"Congratulation to us Vi!!" Masayang bati ni Clarisse sa akin.
"Congratulations" bati ko pabalik.
"Miss Valedictorian" humahalakhak na sabi ni Clarisse sa akin. Tumawa lamang ako.
Binabati namin ang iba naming mga kaklase at schoolmates ng may nginuso si Clarisse sa akin. Tumingin ako sa likuran at nakita si Rafael. Nakikipag tawanan sa mga kaibigan. Kasama si Charlotte. I let out a sigh.
Kinabukasan. After graduation. I pm-ed Charlotte and told her everything. A common friend of ours updated me on them. She was heartbroken.
"Anong balita?"
Tanong ko sa chat.
"Ayun. Nasasaktan pa rin si Charlotte. Humihingi ng tawad si Rafael. Lagi nagpupunta sa bahay nila."
I scoffed.
He forgot na dalawa kaming nasaktan niya. My sadness was replaced by anger.
Nasaktan rin ako. Bakit hindi niya magawang humingi ng tawad sa akin.
He is such a jerk. I fell in love with a jerk.
Gusto ko na kantahin yung Oo ng Up dharma sa harap niya.
But I have to be strong. This is my first heartbreak from my first love. Heartbreaks will lead us to something beautiful someday.
I'll move on.
