Lost in London [Completed]

Sept

Six months. Six fucking months. Kay's birthday. Christmas. New Years. Valentines. The happiness hadn't lasted.

He'd been forced to watch as London's boyfriend – Ferris – had visited. Flown over, spent the weekend and then flown back home. That had been... hard. To watch how London was able to just be with his boyfriend.

Maybe it was unhealthy, but Kay had worked all of those days. Hell, he hadn't even told London his birthday had passed. London would have insisted they do something, 'to make it more bearable', he would have said. Kay had been proven right. London had gone out of his way to involve Kay in his Christmas plans – going as far as to invite Kay to go out with him and friends from university.

He'd even bought Kay a gift – a brand new phone. That had been a shock, and Kay had tried to convince London to take it back, to no avail. Obviously Kay wasn't clueless – he knew it had been an expensive gift, and his own gift of several books he'd heard London mention just didn't stack up.

Kay hadn't let it slip, but London involving him – or trying to – had stung. But, no, he had said, I'm going to help out at the restaurant, they're short staffed. And he'd shrugged it off. The same had happened for New Years. By Valentines, London seemed to have gotten the message: Let Kay drown himself in work so he didn't have to deal with the reality.

Even with being left alone and working, Valentines Day had been difficult. How was he supposed to cope? His fiancé thought he was dead, and he had no way of changing that. He couldn't even find him online. Couldn't call, couldn't email. Hell, he couldn't even send a letter. Considering everything, that was scary. Kay had tried to rationalise it to himself – maybe he'd just changed his name. They'd always talked about what would happen after the marriage, and the outcome was always that Halden would take Kay's name. He'd been adamant about that.

"Hey, Kay," Ferris spoke from across the room, snapping Kay out of his pool of self-pity. "Is everything alright? You look – uh – a bit out of it."

Kay glanced up at Ferris, who was packing up the last of his clothes into the small suitcase sitting on the coffee table as Kay was leaning in the kitchen doorway.

"What? Huh? No, everything is fine," Kay responded, "Just had a rough couple of days, that's all.

"Are you sure? London hasn't exactly told me anything about your situation –"

"Good, I don't need pity from anyone else," Kay said, "It's not his place."

"You're right, and it's not my place to ask, but if you need to talk to me about anything before I leave, then go for it. Might be good to get things off your chest, considering you probably won't see me again."

"No, it isn't your place," Kay snapped. "Sorry, but no, I don't want to talk about anything. Do you want me to give you a hand packing, though? I might as well make myself useful, considering. You know? I'd rather that than just stand here watching you."

"Uh – sure, yeah, I've got a couple of sweaters left on the bed upstairs, can you please grab them for me?" Ferris asked, almost surprised at Kay's eagerness to be of help.

Kay nodded quickly, heading through the living room and up the stairs, feeling as if he was intruding by going into London's – and he guessed Ferris' – bedroom without either of them. He spotted the sweaters folded on the bottom of the bed. He grabbed them and turned tail out of the room, returning the sweaters to Ferris so he could pack them.

The trip to the airport was physically painful for Kay. London had gotten caught up at the university and had asked Kay to go with Ferris to the airport. Of course, Kay had agreed, but it was only in the taxi, with the awkward silence on the way there, that Kay realised what a mistake it was. Things only got worse from there, with an empty feeling in his stomach rising as he said goodbye to Ferris at the entry gates.