The End of the Road

Yeah Okay

I'm not here to get mad, I'd rather just be stuck in my own little void of darkness in the back corner of my room.
Am I trying too hard? Of course I am, I always do.
Why is he running? Was it something I did? Something I said that day in the hall?
What did I do?
                                 

~

I may or may not have hinted something to Katie. I'm an idiot! (I have been told many times before) She's going to hate me if she finds out the truth. Oh no, what if she already knew before today?!

~ ~

I feel like she's distancing herself from me. She won't answer any of my texts. When I said Hi to her earlier, she didn't even look up. I screwed up. Big time.

Earlier...

He started to walk across the street, Greg was following him closely behind. Allison stared with wide eyes as we started to slow down so they could catch up to our walking pace. Greg smiled and said Hi to Alli, but sent me a cold glare. I still don't know know why he hates me. As we walked, the leaves rustled beneath our feet in a whirling tornado, making our hair go wild.

Nothing. Not even a giggle.

OK, You could cut this tension with a butter knife.

Harry kept sneaking little stares at me, I could tell from the corner of my eye. But whenever I looked at him, he seemed to just frown and look away. Greg and Allison kept whispering things to each other, and then glancing over to me and Harry. This is so weird. 

~

I want to talk to her, but Greg and Allison are here. And they are both being colossal ass-hats. I can hear them talking about me and Katie. I want to keep running, but then my problems will never end. I'm walking behind her, and I tried getting her attention by kicking her Converse, but she didn't even notice.

Or maybe she did, and she didn't care. Or she didn't want to care. Oh crap, she might be mad at me.

~~

When I got home, I asked Allison if she wanted to stay over for a while, but she said she needed to finish her Math project. It's just something I ask because she stays over so many times, but she thinks I don't know her little secret. 

I shut the door and fumbled up the stairs and to my room. I could hear my brother and his bass guitar through the thin walls, but I slid into my room and decided to blast a song with a lot of screaming in it. I went up to my record player, (yes a record player) pulled the My Chemical Romance album from the shelf, and played You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (long title, I know) .  Deafness here I come.

 Amongst the noise and all of Gerard Way's screaming, I could hear my brother pick up his electric guitar and play along with the recording. 

I started to cry. I just want to sit here in the dark and wait until my only friends abandon me. But before I shut my eyes, I heard my phone make a very familiar buzz. I threw it across the room.

~

When I got home I grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge and ran to my room. I threw my book bag on the floor and reached for my phone. Screw all that homework.