"Don't walk away from me you slut!" He yelled and then slapped my mum across the face. I gasped both of them freezing and turning towards me. My fathers eyes were glazed over with anger. He walked towards me and i ran back to my room,locked the door, went to my bathroom and locked the door hiding in the cold wet tub. "open the door!" he yelled banging on my door. I jumped when i heard it kind of sounded like thunder but right next to me. I slapped my hand over my mouth and held my breath hoping that he wouldn't find me. "Ruth I know your in there unlock the door and your punishment won't be as bad," he said jiggling the door knob. I sobbed into my hands and hugged my knees closer to my chest. Suddenly the door broke off the hinges. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bed. "Please don-" I choked on my words. He let out a chuckle and pulled my pants down and ripped my underwear off. He unzipped his pants."stop please just stop" I screamed trying to get away from him . "Stop talking you bitch" he said and got closer to me the next thing I knew my mind was Going fuzzy and all I could see was black.
I sat up screaming and tears were rolling down my face. "Hey hey what's wrong?" Luke said sitting up. I let out a choked sob and tried to breath in. "Ruth what happened?" He questioned. I shook my head as I continued crying. "Ruth come here" After a while I stopped crying. "Sorry I got mascara on your shirt." " it's okay Ruth " "I'll go get you a new one" i said getting up and going to my room shutting the door the door. I leaned against it and put a hand over my mouth trying to hold in my sobs. I slid down and sat on the floor. I went over to my bathroom and looked in the cabinet and felt around for my pills . Where are they? I asked myself where the hell are they ? I muttered while opening all of the cabinets and drawers. I couldn't find them so I went to look for my bottle of spares. Finally I found them and went to the bathroom. I looked a myself in the mirror. i sat there for a few minuets and thought about how i didnt like how i looked and how i was fat and i should be skinnier and more. After a while i couldnt take it anymore and i grabbed my pills and a cup of water and swallowed way more that I was supposed to. I just sat there for a while. I wasn't sure if I could stand up. I finally stood up and leaned on the counter as I was feeling a bit light headed. I stood up straight and noticed how hot it was then i started seeing black spots and i felt dizzy. Next thing I knew I was laying on the floor and someone was knocking on the door.
I shot up and looked around in a panick and let out a sigh of relief when I saw I was in my bathroom "dammit what did i just do" i muttered to myself looking at the bottle of pills that were spilled . It was almost like i was in a trance and i couldn't control what i was doing. Almost like I was pulled in a trance by the idea that I could find a relief through overdosing. I haven't done it in years so why now? Why did I chose now? I heard a knock on my door. "ruth? you okay you've been in there for a while" Luke said jiggling the door handle. Shit. shit shit shit "y-yeah im fine give me a minuet" i shouted as I quickly wrapped because I didn't want Luke to get suspicious. I stood up my bottles of pills and put the cap on it and threw on a sweater and grabbed his clothes. I unlocked the door and Luke had his hand raised as if he was going to knock again. "Hey" he murmured scratching the back of his neck. "Hi" I said handing him a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. "I didn't think you wanted to sleep in jeans so I found you some sweatpants " I muttered. "Alright thanks" he said while hugging me. "Are you okay Ruth you seem a bit off?" He asked, the clothes I had given him still in his hand. "Yeah yeah I'm fine just a bit tired. You can change in the bathroom." I said while gesturing to the bathroom. He was about to open the door. "Luke wait" I somewhat shouted getting up and jogging to shut the door but I was too late. He had seen the amount of pills that I had forgotten to clean up off the counter. "Oh my god" he whispered. I didn't dare make a sound. "What the he'll is this?" I opened my mouth to say something but closed it. "I-" " how many did you take?" "Stop." I whimpered "there's a shower down the hall in the guest room you can sleep there." I said while opening the door. He walked to the door but stopped and just stared at me. You know that kind of stare where it feels like they are staring into your soul and know you are keeping something from them but don't say anything till you do? Well that's the kind of stare I'm getting right now
*AN I'm sorry for the short chapter but I have writer's block and I am in a really bad place right now so until next time
xoxo -K.
