Substitute Bride

Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - A Sister's Tale

Anna and I sat at a nearby bench and looked up at the stars that were glowing under the moonlight. The night breeze pulled our hair to our backs as we let the silence eat us alive.

I decided to talk first.

"What happened to you Anna? Why are you here, why did you leave us?" I questioned as I turned to look at her face.

Anna didn't look back at me, except she stared deep into the sky.

"I came here because I needed to breath. I just wanted some time to myself. While I was here, I had a lot of time to think. I thought about you, and mom, and dad and... Ivan. I thought about the accident, about his blindness and how much of a terrible person I am. I know what I did was wrong, just leaving like that, but I couldn't take it anymore Eliza. I just wanted to get away. I know it's selfish, but I just didn't know what to do..." Anna paused and tears began forming in her eyes. " I already know it's too late. Ivan must already hate me and I understand completely." Anna stopped talking and I just stared at her.

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked her.

"I'm going to stay here for a while. I just don't think I can go back yet Eliza... not yet." she replied.

"What? You can't do that! You need to go home right now. Do you know how worried we all are? Do you know how much damage you have caused? What about Ivan, you're just going to leave him again, do you know how much he cares for you? How much he loves you? I'm not going to clean up your messes again just because I''m your sister!" I huffed. All the yelling made me loose all my breath. 

I took my finger and rubbed the temple of my head, hoping all the stress would just disappear. I paused for a moment and sighed. I know I should'nt have yelled at Anna like that, but sometimes I just can't help it.

Ever since we were kids I was always the one who had to clean up after her mess. Whether or not it was her toys, or her dishes or missing projects, she of course expected me to help her. Occasionally I didn't mind, but there was a point in my life when I questioned myself for ever actually helping her and making her do it herself.

"Eliza I can't go back. Ivan will never forgive me." Anna cried.

I stopped her right then and there.

"Yes he will. He will forgive you. There is a way that you can go back, back to the way you guys have always been. As if nothing has changed." I looked at her with cold and empty eyes.

"I don't understand what you're saying." she stammered.

"What I'm saying is that for the past four months I've been impersonating you Anna. I took your name, your style, and your persona just so that I could help Ivan! I changed everything that I loved about me and changed myself into you! Why you ask? Because Ivan needed you! He needed you Anna and you just had to disappeared while Ivan was at his time of need. So I faked it. I faked everything about being you to Ivan like the liar I am!" every word I said caused  my heart to burst. Everything I bottled up was now released and I felt like my shoulders were lighter, but my still felt guilt was heavier.

"Eliza..." Anna gasped.

I could'nt look her in the eyes anymore.

"Yeah I know, I'm a psycho."

"Eliza, how come you have never told me this before. Why are you just telling me just now that you love him?" 

"Because Anna! I couldn't. Ivan wanted you, not me. I wasn't just going to profess my love for him right after he told me that he loved you. What kind of person does that. I gave him up because I knew that you would take care of him. I trusted you." I cried.

Suddenly Anna grabbed me by my shoulders and stared at my face as tears fell from the corners of her eyes.

"So all these years you did love him. That day when you came to me after going to Ivan's house that morning, you told me to meet you at the park in the afternoon because you had something important to show me. When I arrived and you didn't show up, it was Ivan that came, and that was when he had asked me out..." Anna's hand shook.

I broke my gaze from her as more tears dripped.

"Please Anna, listen to me. Never in my life have I asked you for anything, so I need you to do this for me. I need you to go back to Ivan. I need you to go back to him as if nothing ever happen. I need you to love him and promise me that you will stay by his side. Promise me Anna?" 

"Eliza if you love him then you wouldn't ask me to do this."

"Anna. Please. I know that you love Ivan just as much as I do. My heart beaks whenever he calls your name instead of mine. I'm dying of guilt and your my only way out. These moments I have spent with him and the memories we made are enough... there all I will ever need. So Anna please, I'm begging you, just go back to him. " I plead. I squeezed Anna's hand and cried. We cried and cried as she finally held me in her hands.

Her cool hands pressed against my cheeks as my vision was blurred by tears.

"Ha, my dear twin sister. Did you know this probably the most you have ever talked to me in all the years we have been alive?" She gave me a tearful smile as she placed loose strands of hair away from face and tucked behind my ears. "Since this the first thing you have ever asked me to do, and probably the only thing, I will grant you your request."

"Thank you Eliza..." Anna whispered.

"No, Thank you Anna..." 

                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Anna and I met, I told her to go back to the hotel room and grab my passport and bag. I stood there outside the building as the night grew old and the moonlight softened. Anna came down with my stuff and a coat as she placed it over my shoulders.

"Are you sure you don't want to go see him one more time?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "No, it's okay. It's best to leave things like this..." I told her. Besides, I knew that if I saw him, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore.

"Get home safe okay?" Anna said as she gave me a long and hard hug.

"Yeah, i'll see you at home." were the words I told her as I hugged her back. I swiftly placed the black leather backpack on my shoulders and started to depart.  I only took a couple steps before turning my head to look back at her. We stared at each other's eyes as if they spoke for us and I held out my hand. She held out her's and we both waved in a similar manner.

I turned again, and my journey was now in motion. There was no stopping the distance that was occurring between myself and them. The distance that was always long, now seemed longer with every step I took.

Although, it was the distance that I always had between them since the very first day.