Tom Hiddleston Fics

Loved, Loss, and Healing (Loki Drabble)

Summary: The reader lost her husband, Loki, two years ago, and is still holding onto the pain. She finally decides she can't handle life without him. Thor, however, might be able to give her the help she needs. 

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The pain was too much. You couldn't take the loneliness, the empty bed, or the emptiness in your heart. He was the love of your life, your other half. He has been gone for almost two years but your heart still ached for his laugh, touch, and his smile. You couldn't say his name without fear of breaking down. You stood teetering on the ledge, no one around for miles. No one to miss you, no one to go home to. Biting your lip, you closed your eyes and jumped, only to be stopped by a pair of strong arms.

"No!" you shriek. "Let me go!"

There was no answer, but the arms held you tighter until you stopped kicking and screaming. Knowing it was a battle you'd never win, you stopped struggling and went limp against the strong frame.
"I'm sorry, Thor. I-I just can't take it anymore, I have no one left. I miss him so much."

"You have me," came his soft reply. "I miss him too. He may not have been my brother by birth, but he was still my brother."

You froze when you heard the break in his voice. Going limp in Thor's arms, you realize how selfish you had been. Never once thinking that the God of Thunder would miss him too. Your brother-in-law's grip loosened enough for you to turn to face him.

"I-I'm so sorry, brother. I was so wrapped up in my own grief, I never saw you were hurting as well. Please forgive me." You hung your head.
"There is nothing to forgive, sister. We have both been grieving in our own ways. I-it took me too long...I wasn't sure what to say to you. I'm sorry never felt right. I have not done right by my brother. I should have made sure you were taken care of. I should have done a lot more."

"Stop, Thor. It's not your fault. I wouldn't have accepted your help anyway. It won't do either of us any good to blame ourselves. We are here for each other now. But how did you know I was going to" you cut yourself off.

Thor gave a sad smile. "Because he had threatened he would jump if anything ever happened to you. He knew it was the wrong thing to do, but when it came to you, he wouldn't have cared."

You gave him a confused look but didn't question him. Sighing, you sat back on your knees and watched the sun begin to fade behind the great city. Neither of you talking, knowing the other was there, enough comfort

"You know it is alright to say his name," Thor finally spoke. "It is not a crime."

You shook your head. "I-I can't. It hurts too much."

"Two years. Two years is long enough, sister. It is time. I know the pain, but you cannot keep it bottled up. You almost jumped because of those feelings. I still blame myself, but you cannot hold it in. Talk to me - we will help each other. Loki would not want you to be this way forever." Thor turned you toward him again. "Say it, please?"

All of the pain and sadness was bubbling to the surface, you knew you were about to break.

"I-I miss him. I miss Lo-oki so much," you choked out.

Falling against Thor, you finally let out everything you had kept inside. He held you tight, letting you sob.

"Loki would be proud of you," he whispered. "He loved you so much, sister. So much."

Your tears subsided some time later, but you still clung to Thor. You pulled away and looked up and give him a small smile.
"Thank you, Thor."
Thor nodded but looked serious. Please don't ever do this again. I can't lose you too. You are the only family I have now."

Your heart broke again at his words. "I won't, promise."

Your stomach suddenly rumbled loudly, ruining the mood. You both laughed.
"Come," Thor began. He helped you stand. "Let us find you something to eat and then sit by one of the fires and talk.

You followed him back to the palace. "Only if we can have pop tarts," you grinned.
Thor laughed. "Of course. All of our chats will include pop tarts."

The rest of the night was spent laughing and talking in front of the fires, each sharing your favorite stories of Loki. That evening was the beginning of healing for the both of you.