Tom Hiddleston Fics

Confessions of a Drunk Detective (Magnus x reader)

At 10 p.m. you had finally fallen into bed. You had just finished a shift that should have ended five hours ago, but people are stupid. Especially if they are drunk. You and your partner had been called to sort out a noise complaint. Thanks, Kurt. Apparently, all the other officers were too busy to handle it.

When you arrived at the scene, the culprits were hanging from a tree shouting at each other. It was one of the strangest things you'd ever seen. You honestly had no idea how they had even gotten up there, let alone how they were still hanging on. It took forever for you and Magnus to get them to even notice you.

Finally getting the attention of the male you shouted, "Hi, I'm Detective Y/L/N and this is Detective Martinsson."

The pair waved down to you.

You smiled back. "It seems like you two have had a fun evening. Why don't you come down and tell us about it?"

"We live up here, dearie," the man answered. "We-we're bats!"

Magnus, who was standing behind you, choked on a laugh. "They're certainly batty," he whispered.

Hiding your laugh, you continued, "Right, well how about you come down all the same. We can talk more on the ground."

"We actually can't move. We've been trying for an hour and turns out we're stuck up here," the woman piped up.

"Great, just great," you muttered under your breath. "Care to help, Magnus?"

"Nope, you are doing brilliantly, Y/N."

You huffed and went back to the car to radio for the fire department. Walking back to the tree, you noticed Magnus was talking with the couple.

"Here she comes," called the man. "It's the queen!" He then began singing "God Save the Queen."

Magnus lost it then. You stood next to him and hip-checked him, only causing him to laugh harder.

"What, don't think I'd make a good queen?" you teased.

"Oh, you definitely would. I'm just enjoying this." You shook your head and joined in.

"You're so pretty," came a sing-songy voice.

You looked up and noticed that the couple was watching you and Magnus.

"She is! They make a cute pair," the woman agreed. "Your girlfriend is pretty, don't you think, young man."

Your face flushed and you could only imagine that Magnus' had as well.

"Um," he began. He was cut off by sirens. He let out a sigh of relief.

That hurt mate, you thought.

Finally, the couple was extracted from the tree. You and Magnus put them in the back of the car and drove back to the station.

"Ooo, love...we're going for a ride," the woman hiccuped.

"Going on an adventure. Oh, I forgot my camera," the man cried.

Magnus laughed out loud. You slapped his arm and he stopped. You made it back to the station and after another hour, being thrown up on, and a shower and change of clothes, you were ready to head home.

"Oi, Queenie, want to go get a drink?" Magnus called to you.

You rolled your eyes and hid a smile. "No, I am going home and sleeping for the next three days," you replied.