Where Will I Go Without You?

Poem #7

"Remember that, people are only guests in your story- the same way that you are a guest in theirs- so make the chapters worth reading." - Lauren Klarfeld

I can lie and say that I am okay.
But in the end, only I know the truth.
I can lie and say that I'm not going down a dark path,
but then again, my words, and my pain, are visible proof.
I can also say that this isn't eating my soul from the inside out.
I can say that being here without you isn't driving me insane.
Everyone knows when you lose a loved one you lose a part of yourself.
No one truly knows what will change, but we know nothing would ever be the same.
We can beg God, and ask over and over that simple, yet confusing word, "Why?"
We can drive ourselves to the brink of insanity, but we never know the true meaning.
We will never be okay, again, and that's all we think of.
I can't sit here and lie and say that I don't feel like screaming.
He was here for me in ways that I was never there for him, and that is where my guilt sets in.
I sit and think of all the times he helped me, and never wanted anything in return.
But those silent screams for help, never went unnoticed. 
I know that he needed me, and I guess this is just a  lesson that I had to learn.
I had to learn that I can't save everyone, I have to love myself first.
Except, I loved who I was with him, and now he's gone so, that feeling is gone.
I think he made me who I truly was meant to be.
Now that he's gone, I'm so much worse.
With everything that I do, he's in the back of my mind.
I can't figure out what it means, but I know he is here with me.
I can't fathom the thought of him not being in my future,
But there is nothing in this world that I can't do, or can't be.

With you in my mind, I know that I will be okay.
You're in my heart, and you'll always be the reason I love.
I just hope that you're where you want to be,
And I know that you will always be watching me from above...