𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒚, 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒔 || 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚓𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚏

6 . dream

TW : slight mentions of death, suicide and stalking

Day is day. Night is night. The world doesn't go dark, it simply spins. It's been that way for... well for as long as the planet was created. It was when humans became enlightened and constructed culture and events that moulded the world into simultaneously believing that day means joy and new beginnings while night meant danger and a crucial need for safety. Medicine was made during the day; Jack the Ripper committed his murders at night. As you could tell, Jin wasn't happy. Day meant hours of suffering. Day meant waiting and waiting with no tomorrow in sight. Day used to mean smiling while secretly crying. Now day meant sitting and waiting until he rotted away.

The night, however, was something Jin wasn't entirely familiar with. He recalled staying up all night as a boy, perhaps reading or texting a girl. Now as soon as his mother was out of sight the man would be fast asleep on his bed. No matter how much sleep he got, he never had energy. Never could muster up enough power to tackle the day and make it something he would feel a twinge of pride about. Jin didn't hate himself and in a way, he knew who he was too. He knew he was Kim Seokjin. It was the name he was assigned at birth and the name he introduces himself as. But he wasn't stupid - he knew that he had changed. The confident boy had gone and was replaced with this lazy, unwilling and imprisoned guy. This slave entrapped in his mind. At night, Jin slept. And he slept damn well.

Jin had always been a deep sleeper and his dreams were filled with positivity and serenity. When he slept - he was happy. Not surrounded by his own thoughts but instead equanimity like no other.

But this Tuesday night entailed other plans. Jin dreamt of being watched. That evolved into being followed and finally being chased. Heart beating faster than light, he tried to run away or hide or just do anything! Life was never his main priority but if he were to die then it would be much better to do it off his own accord. Who knows what that man could do to him. Jin preferred something quick.

All that Jin could do at this moment was run and hide, run and hide, run and hide. But then he woke up. A thin layer of sweat blanketed his skin and for once he was happy he was awake. It was the dead of night. So dark... and cold... and silent- well apart from the pounding in his chest. It took a few minutes of staring at the ceiling before Jin had calmed down. 

Tomorrow was his therapy session; would he have to mention this? Would Namjoon roll his eyes? Jin felt uneasy thinking these thoughts about his gentle giant of a counsellour but you could never tell. Jin thought he would never change but clearly he had. Why wouldn't Namjoon?

Soon enough, he slipped into sleep once again. This time he dreamt of nothing.