Divergent Imagine

5 | Insomnia

Unluckily for me I also wake up earlier than everyone else. It's always been like this. Last to fall asleep, first to wake up. I still have energy I just don't know how.

I made sure that I was quiet when I walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. And also when I was changing and leaving the dorm.

Since now I don't get lost anymore I decided to go train. I mean I have nothing else to do besides laying in bed so..

I walked over to the orange sacks and startet hitting and kicking it. And while I was kicking I thought about all the bad things that have happened to me and how the guys are treating us girls here. My vision started getting blurry and I felt tears falling down my cheeks but the more I cried the harder I punched and kicked because I hate it when I cry especially in front of anybody. It makes me feel weak. And there is nothing more I hate than people thinking I'm weak.

"What're you doing here already?" I heard Four ask from the distance." Shit. Great. I quickly whipped away my tears before he reached me by pulling the hem of my shirt up to my eyes.
"I always wake up earlier than everyone else" I told him once he reached me. "I need to talk to you about your behavior." he started and I walked over to him so we were facing each other to show that I'm not disrespectful. "You can't just go around and attack the other Initiates." he told me. I sighed. "I know I'm sorry. Won't happen again." I said looking down knowing this would backfire on me. "If!" I started holding my head high and looking at him. God he is so hot.

"You talk to them about their behavior as well because I'm not just gonna stand by while a bunch of guys are always eyeing me up and down or talk about how they're gonna fuck me or just start touching me out of the blue." I said not being able to hold back the tears that were sliding down my cheek because I was so angry. "I'm just so tired of always feeling angry and pissed. And hate, pain and grief. I just wanna be normal. Happy. At peace. For once I want something good happening to me." I confessed. Great now I'm crying in front of one of our leaders. No better person to think I'm weak. I turned around so my back was facing him.

Four sighed. "Come here." he said pulling me into a hug by grabbing my arm and turning me around. I was confused at first because 'tough guy' is hugging me. But then I just sunk into it and hugged him back. It's funny I actually have never had a real hug like this before. Sure when I was a small child I did but other than that. After a few seconds of hugging and sobbing we broke our embrace. He cleared his throat. "Not a word to anyone about this." he said turning around and walking away. Yeah no." I said.

"You're gonna fight against me now." he announced looking over his shoulder as signal for me to follow him. "Oh okay." I said jogging up to him.

"From what I've witnessed you're pretty stubborn. Not really qualities for an Amity." Four said once we stood opposite of each other in the ring. "Well I'm not an Amity anymore." I felt myself getting angrier. "And I'm not stubborn." I went into defensive mode and ran towards him. But he was quick and took me into a grip that I thought I couldn't escape. I was standing with my back tight against his chest and Four hat his right arm around my throat. It was kinda hot not gonna lie but I had to act quick. So I bit down in his arm as hard as I could and he let out a groan. Again: hot. Not relevant. Moving on. I rammed my elbow in his stomach and got out of his grip and wanted to turn to face him again but he grabbed my rm and pinned it behind my back which hurt like shit. But I threw my left leg behind and pressed it into his private area which made him fall on his back on the ground. I quickly climbed on top of him, took my knife out of my pants and held it against his throat.

"Ha!" I said admiring his face structure. I gulped. He's so very hot... god snap out of it dude! "I win." I said grinning. "Where did you get that?" he asked confused. "Oh I never leave without one." I said. "You can't fight with anything like this. In the ring you can only use your body to fight." he explained as id I wouldn't know. "If im fighting against a leader like you i can" I scoffed defending myself. "It doesn't work like that." he kept going. "Yeah I know you would've probably won if I hadn't had my knife but if I were in a real fight I still would've won because I always have knifes on me. That's what I'm best at." I told him before I got off of him putting back my knife.