Conquering the War

Chapter IIIb: Deceptive Emotions

When I was 2 years of age, my Mom and I were both deserted by my father. As I grow up, my wrath also became deeper because I found no reason at all for him to leave my mother. When I reached adolescence, someone asked me, "Are you still frustrated and mad to your father?"  And I confidently answered no. I said that everything is in the past and I already forgiven him. That is what my mind knows. But unconsciously, I'm still on the bait.

God is always reminding us this one:

"bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive."

Colossians 3:13 (Esv)

Sometimes, you think you have forgotten the past because you thought you have already forgiven your debtors. Be reminded of this: As long as you remember their iniquities, you still don't forgive them wholly. You still don't get the inner peace you deserve.

The moment you decide to have a good talk to settle the matter, and the moment you tell God what you really feel will compromise everything. Let us forgive like how God forgives our daily erroneous acts. Because that is what the Lord wants. To confess with sincerity, to love our neighbors and our enemies. To love them requires forgiveness wholeheartedly.

People usually tell that it's easy to forgive but is hard to forget. You don't forgive wholly when you don't forget. The moment you forgive a person, you shall also forget the pain, hurtful words, judgmental thoughts thrown against you. That is how God forgives. He forgets what you have done wrong because His love for you is immeasurable, it's unconditional.

Pride is what keeps us away from sincerity. You ought to satisfy our own minds not knowing our heart's real condition is. You frequently agree with your mind's judgments. You are aware that you already forgiven these people but is unaware of your heart's true condition.

Pray earnestly to God. Confess. Be true of your emotions. God listens. He knows your heart. Just be genuine before Him and He will help you out of that pride that jails you.

When I started surrendering everything to God, and evaluating my heart's true condition, I was able to freed myself from that unbreakable Pride that gripped me for years. I was able to set myself free. And I was able to forgive my father and those people who have hurt me in the past. The Lord gave me the inner peace I need and He taught me to pray for these people instead of talking filthy behind their backs.

"Surrender your heart to God, surrender your emotions to Him. Your heart will be handled with care. He's God. He never fails."

-God loves you