Begin Again

23.

On March 3rd, Taylor ran out of her Beverly Hills home to greet her best friend. She hadn't physically seen the model since the weekend they spent in Rhode Island, but she missed her terribly. To say the singer was eager to see her again would be an understatement. Taylor had sat by her window the entire day wanting to be ready when the model arrived.

Karlie was just getting out of her taxi when she saw the blonde running toward her. Dropping her bags, the model opened her arms just as Taylor came in contact with her. She felt the singer wrap her arms around her waist pulling her into a tight hug.

"I missed you so much," Taylor whispered as she hid her face in the crook of the model's neck. Karlie squeezed her sides and gently pressed a kiss to the top of the singer's head.

"I missed you too," Karlie responded truthfully. She closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of the singer. It made her feel safe to have Taylor close to her again. Karlie took this small moment to relish in the feeling of having the singer close to her again.

'I never want to leave her again,' Karlie thought to herself. She hadn't felt this at peace since she left Rhode Island.

Ever since the weekend they shared together, Karlie couldn't stop thinking about the blue-eyed singer. She replayed their talks, their days spent in the kitchen baking and their nights cuddled up on the couch watching sitcoms.

Whenever Josh did something sweet, Karlie couldn't help but cringe. She compared everything to Taylor and she felt incredibly guilty about it every time. Karlie couldn't help but compare Josh's hugs to the ones Taylor would give her. She couldn't help but compare the way Josh's hand fit in hers the way Taylor's did. She couldn't help the way she laughed around Taylor to the way she didn't around Josh. Whenever they lied on the couch together, Karlie couldn't help but think of how uncomfortable it was compared to how perfect it was with Taylor.
She couldn't help but notice how her smile wasn't genuine when she was with him; her happiness wasn't genuine when she was with him.

----------------------

"Hey, the makeup team should be arriving shortly and Jaime shouldn't take to long to get here either," Taylor said looking up from her phone only to find the model sound asleep on the couch across from her.

The pair was lounging around the blonde's living room while they waited for the makeup team to arrive. Tonight they had to attend the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. Sure, they didn't have to be there for another few hours but Taylor wanted to be ready.

'I should let her sleep, she had a long flight from New York and she's been under so much stress lately. Besides, I could use some time to write a few songs,' Taylor thought to herself as she stared fondly at the brunette.

Karlie had been a bit closed off when she arrived. She wasn't as cheery as she was the last time they were together and she didn't carry herself with confidence like Taylor was used to. It was almost as if the sunshine that once surrounded the model was gone, but Taylor had planned on fixing that.

Glancing toward the clock, Taylor stood up and went to her music room. She had a few lyrics bouncing around in her mind but she hadn't had the chance to get them out. Grabbing her guitar and notebook, Taylor sat down and started playing a tune she had gotten familiar with ever since meeting Karlie.

"She keeps a picture of you in her office downtown," Taylor sang to herself quietly. She played around with the lyric before she decided to attach it to another line, "So it goes you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round. And she keeps a picture of you in her office downtown."

Feeling satisfied with what looked like a bridge, Taylor scribbled down the words in her notebook. She had a smile on her face before she looked to the bookshelf in the room. Her eyes landed on a picture of her and Dianna from one of their many nights with their friends.
'I thought I got rid of all our pictures.'

Feeling the smile drop from her face, Taylor reached for the photo and let her dainty fingers trace over the outline of Dianna's features. Just because Taylor was clean, it didn't mean she didn't miss the feeling of having Dianna around. She knew it was a toxic relationship but in the beginning, Dianna made her feel like she was special. Dianna taught the singer how to take risks.
Taylor took a deep breath before moving to the piano in the middle of the room. She let her fingers glide along the keys before playing a darker tune to go along with the haunting memories she had.

"Flashing lights and we took a wrong turn and we fell down the rabbit hole," Taylor sang thinking of the page six article written about her past relationship.

The flashing lights of the paparazzi were almost blinding as Taylor walked the short distance from the car to the restaurant with Dianna alongside her. The singer remembered how happy she felt at the time, little did she know that nothing was real.

"You held on tight to me, 'cause nothing's as it seems. Spinning out of control."

Dianna never really loved Taylor. The actress simply saw her as the gateway to fame and she held on to that as long as she could. Nothing with Dianna was the way she played it out to be, the actress always had an ulterior motive behind every sweet action. Dianna always planned two steps ahead, but she never planned on Taylor changing her mind.

Wiping a cold tear from her cheek, Taylor sang the next line, "Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?"

Everyone warned them to be careful. Erickson told her to take things slow, her parents and Austin warned her of what could come. Taylor's friends told her to think before she jumped into her relationship with Dianna. But every warning was overlooked when Dianna flashed her hypnotizing green eyes toward the singer, putting her under a spell.

'It wasn't all her fault. It takes two people to fail in a relationship. You could have listened to what they said. You knew how things could go wrong,' Taylor told herself before wiping more tears and singing the next lyric.

"Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Oh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me. I should have slept with one eye open at night-" Taylor sang before she was cut off by the sound of knocking against the door.

"Hey, I didn't mean to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that Jaime's here," Karlie said leaning against the doorframe. She watched Taylor reach up to wipe more tears before nodding and letting out a weak 'thank you'.

Without a word, Karlie moved forward and wrapped the blue-eyed girl in a hug. She rubbed Taylor's back as the singer cried against her.

"You don't have to do this," Taylor said in between gasps for air.

"I know...but you need this," Karlie replied quietly before holding Taylor closer to her. She didn't have to be there but she would stay until Taylor didn't need her anymore. The singer deserved that much.

'How could someone hurt you this badly?' Karlie thought to herself as she felt her heart break for the blonde in her arms. If Karlie could be sure of one thing, it was that she would never hurt Taylor.