If Unite had about 100,000 success stories, then they had 900,000 failures. Minho was sadly reminded of this fact when he and Felix accompanied Changbin to their headquarters in the centre of the city.
"This is Mr Park," Changbin pointed to a man who was sat in the next room, "he was the best friend of one of Unite's co-founders but the co-founder got caught and his memory was wiped again, Mr Park hasn't seen him since, he had his memory wiped around 54 years ago towards the end of 1965," the boy spoke, "he doesn't even know whether his lover is dead or alive but he refuses to move on, he works part time as a doctor who does the memory wiping, he tells people to the best of his ability how to make sure it doesn't work."
As soon as he looked over at the man, Minho couldn't shake the feeling that he's seen him before, words of 'love him truly and find him again' flooded into his mind but the boy pushed them away and dismissed them as his mind playing tricks on him. When he thought about the older man's situation, there was undeniably something beautiful in the fact that Mr Park hadn't loved since, Minho supposed, because no matter how lonely it may have seemed to an outsider, Mr Park appeared to get enough company from knowing there was someone out there who loved him. The old man appeared to sense someone staring at him and he looked nul through the window of his office and offered the three boys a small smile.
"His hope is beautiful," Minho spoke under his breath and Felix hummed in agreement.
They walked a few more underground corridors before reaching Changbin's office. It was small and had his name written haphazardly on the door, it had obviously previously belonged to Chan as the first four letters of Changbin's name were written in a different colour to the last. When they stepped through the door Minho's eyes searched around the small room and it was definitely nothing like he had expected. There weren't papers strewn everywhere or any photos on the walls, in fact the entire room was devoid of any paper at all except for the small sticky note that had miscellaneous codes written onto it. Instead, the walls were covered with wires and various screens just as the second floor of their local headquarters was, the office was brightly lit by various computers and touch screen whiteboards dotted around the walls.
"Not what you expected?" Changbin questioned and Minho shook his head without speaking a word, "if someone breaks in and the entire records are on paper it makes all of the people on the database vulnerable and easy to find, if they're online then we can just shut down the system," he explained and Felix spoke up next.
"It's so cool," he breathed, "I feel like I've walked into a sci-fi movie," the Australian giggled.
"I thought you might like it," Changbin ruffled Felix's hair as he sat down at his desk, "sorry we had to stop off here by the way, I've just gotta check someone off because they left the country."
"Ah did they find their person?" Minho questioned.
"No, it was the poor kid who accidentally told the doctors about Chan hyung and Woojin hyung," Changbin smiled fondly, "no matter how bad the thing he did was I just can't bring myself to hate him, he lives with them now and he found his lover in Australia anyway, he'd already moved into the Unite safe house over there because he was at risk."
"Oh well I guess it kinda worked out well for him," Felix joked causing Changbin to laugh and agree.
After about another minute, the Unite worker closed his laptop and stood up, "okay I'm done, can we please go for ice cream now?" he asked, "I have to present a whole support session for the first time tomorrow and it's kinda stressing me out so I need to eat away my feelings."
Minho laughed at this, "I'm sure you're great at presenting."
"You haven't seen me present, you don't understand."
They walked in comfortable silence to the ice cream shop after that. It upset the oldest slightly that Felix and Changbin had to leave an obvious gap between themselves, it seemed so unfair that they should be in danger because of something that makes them happy. Nevertheless, Felix decided to slide into the side of the booth next to Minho instead of his lover when they reached the shop. They ordered and ate and left and headed home, Minho hated how monotonous and boring his life was.
Another five months of this lay ahead, he had almost considered signing up to become a worker at Unite but he wasn't sure that he was mentally stable enough for such a role. There was very little he did that could make him happy. Sure he danced a little in his room or in the lounge when Felix was out or in the shower and although it felt so natural and as if it was something he was doing his whole life, it did little to quell his feeling of being out of place and wrong.
Minho sat in his room whilst Felix and Changbin laughed and yelled from downstairs. It was unfair to them to constantly have him lurking around, they deserved privacy and no matter how bored and empty Minho felt when he was alone, he couldn't deny the younger two this. Instead, he simply plugged his earphones into an old mp3 player his 'mom' had given him.
He sat through what felt like hundreds of unfamiliar songs and not one made him feel anything or seemed to have any significance, it made him feel helpless and resigned to the fact that he would end up like Mr Park. Of course, the old man's hope was beautiful but what was hope? Minho defined it simply as a wrongfully interpreted mixture of two evils: inevitability and the lack of being able to let something go. He couldn't bear the thought of having to live out the rest of his years watching everyone around him move on and be happy whilst he ended up alone and still searching.
If only he could just remember, if only his thoughts would just come to him like they had so freely when he first left the centre. It had been days since he had remembered anything that could even be seen as vaguely substantial and it simply wasn't good enough, neither for Minho or for him to find his lover.
That was what hurt him the most. The idea that his lover could still be in the centre blissfully unaware of why he was there or that someone was out there looking for him hurt, the idea that his lover could've been found again and had his memory wiped again hurt, the idea that his lover might be out in the world but lonely and searching for Minho hurt. Everything just hurt.
Minho couldn't even cry anymore. He cried so often that every tear felt like it had left his body and there was nothing left. Instead emptiness was left behind with a hollow heart that couldn't even be filled with thoughts of his lover because Minho didn't even know who the boy was, he couldn't even fantasise about spending time with the boy because he was nothing but a concept to Minho. He was nothing but thoughts of what could've been and what may be and Minho needed something real, he needed something to hold on to. He needed his lover.
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thank you so so much for reading this chapter!! i really enjoyed writing this one even though it was kind sad!! the climax is steadily approaching and there'll be about 2,3 or maybe 4 more chapters so i really hope you'll enjoy reading those!! thank you :)))
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Illegal - Minsung
Fanfic"It has been said that true love can trick the serum, if you really have true love, you will find each other again." Or In a country where being gay is punishable by having your memory wiped, Minho finds out that the only way to keep Jisung is to lo...
