Hello.
I gave up making friends when I was 16 years old. I tried to make friends because I was lonely. I like reading and listening. So I wanted to share my knowledge of books and music with another person. But I couldn't.
Little by little I began thinking like this. Making friends means I was weak person, doesn't it? I was so weak that I wanted to make friends. Then, I had to be strong. Let's be strong enough and endure the loneliness. So I made no friends and endured my blank high school days.
That gave me unexpected present. I got knowledge of books and music. That's true. But I became the person I couldn't share that because of lack of communication skill. When I became a college student, I couldn't understand how to make friends with my skill. So I became a lonely person again.
This tells me that loneliness can make you strong person. But that's not enough. You have to talk to another person and know what is the real world. Another conversation with another person makes you more strong I think. Enduring loneliness makes you a crazy person. Or insane person.
Dear friends. I can't understand why you love me. Am I so charming? Why do you follow me? I am an ordinary person. Exactly I went to Waseda university. That may be an evidence I am smart. But... nowadays I began to think that the real is strange. It's stranger than fiction. There seems not be order. The world is chaos. But that's why I love this world.
You. You are the product of the chaotic real world. You move because of your heart, your love to me. That's incredible. That's not rational. So life is wonderful. I cry for that. I cry for the fact you love me.
Yours.
