What Makes a Monster

♱Fifty-Two♱

Wallie P.O.V

Another dream, but different, shorter. I'd say I'm grateful, but although I'm met with cold darkness it's somehow as terrifying as flames. There's fear, loneliness, sorrow, guilt...and anger. So much anger, all bottled up with no means to escape. As if I'm suspended, body and mind, suspended in an endless dark that no matter how much I reach out, I'm met with nothing. It's simply empty. This goes on and on for what feels like eternity until there's warmth. A familiar warmth and a speck of light grows larger in the distance, but that warmth and that light is not welcoming.

It's terrifying.

Suddenly there's pressure...and hunger. Unbelievable hunger, painful and excruciating, a powerful lust that makes me salivate, or whoever me is in this dream. The world is a blur, suddenly there's so much color, sounds, sensations, cool stone and wires ripping into my skin. Then there's a man, I think, his face is out of focus.

"Wake up! You have to wake up!" The stranger speaks frantically while looking over his shoulder. Then our eyes meet, brown eyes that I recognize wide with fear as he screams, "Wake up, Soran!"

♱♱♱

I've yet to catch my breath after waking. Hael has already woken up and changed, now watching me with a concerned eyebrow raise.

"Another nightmare?" he asks, having put together that I've been struggling to sleep the last couple nights. I sure as hell haven't told him the specifics about the dreams, and I sure as hell don't plan to tell him now.

"Yeah, another nightmare." And someone else's past--Soran's to be more specific. If I was suspecting it before then I have proof now. The child, the flames, the cold dark; more mysteries to Soran's past that only brings about a worse ache in my chest. I don't want to believe it especially--the child, Soran as a child, I want to be mistaken, but I can't even ask. It's been nine days and he has yet to return.

"What have you been doing to give yourself nightmares for a week?" asks Hael with a shake of his head. He gives a sympathetic smile. "Try having a glass of warm tea before bed. It helps me sleep."

"Thanks, I'll give it a try." Although I doubt it will help.

For whatever reason, these nightmares are plaguing me and it's unlikely that tea will be of any defense to them. At least coffee will put up a defense, a defense against Higra seeing as my nightmares and lack of sleep is affecting my work. The glare she gives me when I trip over my feet and drop freshly cleaned curtains on the (freshly cleaned so why is it an issue) floor is downright demonic. Admittedly, the shiver that rolls up my spine has more to do with her admittance to spying rather than the glare.

She is only one spy that I know of. I thought I'd feel a bit better knowing their identity, but I don't. Now when Higra is around, I question everything I say and do, although I try my best to act normal. The last thing we need is the prince figuring out she spilled. Regardless of her spying, I don't want anything bad to happen to her.

I let out a heavy sigh. Soran, when are you returning?

"When do you suppose His Grace will return?" asks Janein as if she read my mind. She's dusting the library with me, pulling out every book to wipe them clean. It's monotonous work, but monotonous sometimes helps. I get into a groove and stop thinking so I suppose it isn't too bad.

"I don't know," I answer. "Why? I thought you were all glad he was gone."

"It's certainly less stressful." Janein shivers. "When he's here, I always feel like he knows everything that's going on. If I slack off or speak a word, he'll somehow know."