oneshot book🚀

everything i wanted🌉jaehyungparkian

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted

It was a chilly, mid-December night, and Jae decided it was finally time to do what he had been planning for a while. He stared out of the window of his room, shared with his best friend Younghyun, up at the stars before standing up and grabbing his jacket. After he slid his jacket on, he quietly walked out of his room and made his way downstairs, careful not to wake his friends up.

Not what you'd think
And if I'm being honest

The boy opened the front door and was immediately hit with a gust of cold air. Jae sighed before looking behind his back, making sure no one was up. He shivered at the frosty air but walked out anyways and closed the door behind him. The thin layer of snow began to crunch under his feet as he walked.

It might have been a nightmare
To anyone who might care

He made his way down the sidewalk, looking at every little thing around him, making sure to take it all in. He looked at all of the beautiful Christmas lights illuminating the city and smiled. Jae always loved looking at the lights during this time. Christmas was his favorite holiday.

Thought I could fly
So I stepped off the Golden

A few minutes into his walk, Jae felt his phone vibrate. He reached in his pocked and pulled out his phone as he continued walking. 1 new message from Younghyun, his phone read. He debated on whether or not he should open it, but finally he decided to open the text.

younghyun
hey
where'd u go??

jae
just went to the store to get chips
i'll be back soon

younghyun
what?
and you didn't invite me?

jae
sorry, you were sleeping and i didn't wanna wake you up
i won't be long lol

younghyun
okay see u soon
be careful
i love you

jae
love you too

When Jae finally closed his phone, he realized he had tears streaming down his cheeks. He had this day planned out and was ready to go through with it, but reading the text from Younghyun started to get to him.

Nobody cried
Nobody even noticed

Jae had to stop for a second because the tears were blocking his eyesight. He didn't know why he was crying so much. This was everything he wanted, right? It's not like anyone would care anyways.

"Younghyun won't even notice that I'm gone, I shouldn't be crying." Jae thought. He wiped his tears away and stood back up and continued walking. Maybe he was right, no one would notice a difference. Maybe they'd be glad he's not around anymore.

I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care

About five minutes and some final thoughts later, he arrived at his destination: the bridge. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in before making his way to the rail. He placed his hands on the top of it, looking down into the water far below him. It was scary up here, and the thought of him physically making himself fall off was even scarier. Jae knew this was what he wanted though. He knew he'd be better off and so would his friends. It was all for the best.

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted

As tears started to form in his eyes again, he grabbed his phone and pressed the phone icon. He called Younghyun's number and shakily put his phone up to his ear. The younger picked up after a few rings and Jae felt his heart hurt again. The boy didn't know what he was going to say, but he knew he wanted to talk to his best friend one last time.

"Hey, Jae! You almost back?" The younger asked. Jae could hear his smile through the phone. The image of Younghyun's smile was now in Jae's head and he couldn't help but let a few tears fall down his face.

"U-Um, yeah, I'm headed there now." Jae lied. He wiped his face and sniffled before the younger replied.

"Are you okay? You sound like you're crying."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry about me," Jae said, "Listen, Younghyun, I want you to know that I love you more than anything. Do you know that?"

"Yes of course I know that, Jae! I love you too." Jae heard what he was saying, but in his head, the younger was lying.

"Okay, I just wanted to tell you that," The older fought back more tears as he continued, "Please stay safe and healthy. Make sure the others do too."

Younghyun was very confused, to say the least. "Jae, why are you saying all of this? You're scaring me."

"It doesn't matter, just know I'll love you and the others forever." Jae said before hanging up. He looked down at his phone before shoving it back in his pocket and sighing.

Now that he had talked to Younghyun, he was ready. He stepped over the rail that was keeping him from falling off and stood on the small piece of concrete sticking out from the rail. Jae wiped his tears, closing his eyes and letting out a breath after. After a few seconds, he was falling about 300 feet from the sky into the water below. He didn't feel anything as he fell; he knew this was what he wanted.

But when I wake up, I see
You with me

Before he hit the water, his eyes shot open and he quickly sat up in his bed, crying and gasping for air at the same time. Younghyun woke up in a panic at the sudden noise and he sprinted across the room to Jae's bed.

"Jae! Jae! What's wrong?" He asked as he sat down on Jae's bed. The older continued crying as Younghyun placed his hands gently on Jae's knees.

"Breathe, Jae," The younger said softly, pulling him into a hug and rubbing his back, "You're okay."

Jae sobbed into Younghyun's shirt for a few minutes after that. The younger didn't mind, he just held him until he started to calm down.

"I had a bad dream." Jae finally spoke softly. He was clutched onto Younghyun's shirt and cuddled close to Younghyun's chest.

"What was it about?" Younghyun asked.

"I..." Jae started, but he felt his heart rate pick up, "I don't know if I can—"

The younger began to rub his back again. "It's okay if you don't want to."

"No, I want to," Jae took a deep breath before starting, "I had a dream that I jumped off of a bridge.  I guess everything got to my head. I kept telling myself it was what I wanted, but it's not." Younghyun wasn't sure how to answer, so he held the boy closer and kept rubbing his back.

"I never told you, but the year that we met, I had planned to kill myself in December. People can be so mean, you know? But I met you and the others a few months before then and so it never happened," Jae kept his eyes closed as he opened up to Younghyun, "But in my dream, it did happen. I woke up right before I hit the bottom."

And you say

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you," Younghyun said after a short pause. "I'm so glad I met you, Jae. Do you know that? You mean the world to me and I love you so much."

"I love you too. Thank you." Jae said. He smiled ad Younghyun started to play with his hair, the two still in a hug on Jae's bed.

And in Younghyun's arms, Jae finally felt safe. He knew everything would be alright.

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I hate billie eyelash but this song is so good