Want Me Back [JenLisa]

twelve

-lisa-

"Lisa, please... I'm so sorry..."

I clenched my fists, hoping to stop myself from pulling her into my arms. It's been two days.

Two days of her desperately asking for forgiveness even when she's done nothing wrong. Two days of her crying for me to take her back.

Two days of holding myself back, appearing cold in front of her just so I can cry when she's no longer in front of me.

Jisoo told me that Jennie's parents asked her to move back into their house. That means they're strictly looking out for their only daughter now, just to make sure that I would stay away from her.

And yes, Jisoo agreed not to tell Jennie anything about it. I know she hated lying to her own bestfriend but she knows it's for Jennie's own good too. And if there's someone who can fix this situation, she knows that it's me who can do it. Regardless of my choice, Jisoo agreed to let me handle the situation myself, even when she still thinks I'm stupid.

I silently grabbed my bag, slinging one strap into my arm as I rushed out but to my surprise, Jennie pushed the door close, blocking my way with her body.

Not now, Jen. I'm so tired of running away from you.

I quickly averted my gaze and was about to go for the front door when she held my wrist.

"Is it Rosé?" she blurted out.

Baby, there's no one else, I wanted to say, but instead I kept silent.

I know she took that as a yes when I felt her hold weaken.

"Y-You told me there's gonna be no one else," her voice was shaking, breaking.

I don't want to turn around and look at her because I don't want to see her cry. Seeing her innocent, feline eyes glisten with tears pains so much that every time I close my eyes, I can still see them hurting. It haunts me.

"I-I know she's pretty, has a beautiful body... I may look nothing compared to her but-"

But you're fucking perfect in my eyes and I would be glad to lend you my eyes if I could, just so you could see it yourself.

I was a fool to think my years of assurance through my truthful words and worshipping touch would make her confident of her beauty. In the end, I still ruined it all. She looks down on herself because of me.

"Jen, stop," I managed to blurt out.

"I know she's your first love-" she sobbed.

Dammit Jennie. You were it for me.

"Jennie," I hissed.

"I just want you back Lis," her arms suddenly wraps on my waist, I can feel her trying to control her sobs from behind, "I know I sound p-pathetic already but I'm losing my mind. I can't think of anything else but you.. I'm hurting everywhere, e-every part of me... wants you back... please come back to me baby, please..."

I squeezed my eyes shot for a moment, engraving the feeling of her touch on my mind.

I just want to fucking turn around and pull her against my body. I want to ask her forgiveness and tell her I wouldn't let anything come in between us anymore.

But that's not the case for us. In a couple of months, she'll have to leave and study abroad. She has to pursue her dreams with a family that she can always come to.

If I cave in to what my heart wants, it will only make things harder for us.

It's better this way so by the time when she has to leave, she's whole again.