I Love You

Chapter 13

It was now 6pm and I was at Katie's house sitting on her bed while she was looking through her closet.  "You want a pair of Jean's and a nice shirt?"  I agreed and continued to admire her backside.  I'm sorry I can't help it.  My eyes snapped up when she turned around looking at the shirt in her hand.  "This should be fine right?"  I stood up and walked to her wincing in pain forgetting about my injuries.  "Vi do you want pain medication?"  I shook my head and said, "No point since I am going to be wasted out of my mind.  Thank you for the clothes."  I took off my shirt and capris to change into the outfit Katie gave me.  "You should probably start to get ready too."  Without saying anything she turned and started stripping out of her clothes.  I had to keep my jaw from dropping when I watched her change into a different outfit.  We have changed many times in front of each other but my feelings for Katie have only grown making it harder to keep my self control around her.  "What do you think?"  She had her arms on her hips and took this opportunity to check her out.  She changed into a white tub top and black Jean's with white Van's while she left her hair down.  "Y-you look g-great."  She smiled and walked over to me, "I could say the same about you.  Now come on let's head out."  I looked at the time not realizing that it was now 8:15pm.  What is with me and time.  I grabbed my phone and followed her out of her room to her car outside.  I pulled my phone out to send a text to Autumn.

To Autumn: "Hey we just left on the way over now."

A couple minutes later I got a response.

Autumn: "Awesome can't wait to see you.😘"

I decided against texting her since I was going to see her in a bit.  The drive was only 10 minutes long and from down the street we could already see people out front and all the cars.  "This is going to be so much fun Kat.  I'm sorry but you are going to have to be the designated driver tonight."  She waved it off and parked the car, "It's alright now let's go have fun."  Getting out of the car I could hear the bass coming from inside and saw people drinking out of cups on the front lawn.  I don't want to remember the rest of the night.  I reached behind me to grab Katie's hand and I pushed our way into the house.  It smelled like sweat, alcohol, and weed.  Now this is a party.  There were people everywhere dancing, grinding, making out, anything you name it.  I was glad that this place was two stories because that just meant more space for people.  I looked back behind to Katie and got close to her so she could hear me over the music, "You want to go to the kitchen?"  She nodded and I maneuvered our way to where I assumed where the kitchen was.  I internally patted myself on the back when my guess was right seeing all the different liquor bottles and cups everywhere.  Letting go of Katie's hand I went to find a clean cup and start to make my drink.  I figured I wanted to start heavy so I mixed some vodka and Sprite together.  Taking a big gulp feeling the slight burn go down my throat was relaxing.  I closed my eyes momentarily and then felt hands on my waist from behind me.  At first I thought it was Katie but then I could smell them and it definitely wasn't her.  "Hey there pretty girl."  Autumn said into my ear.  Turning in her arms I smiled at her kissing her cheek and leaning in to talk to her over everything, "Hey there."  We both smiled wildly and I saw Katie in the corner of the kitchen with a can of white claw drinking it slowly while looking at the 'dance floor'.  The dance floor was basically everywhere in the house and if you could even call what half of the people were dancing.  I was taken out of my thoughts when Autumn took my cup and drank from it making me pout.  She smiled and winked at me finishing it.  "Hey I just made that!"  She shrugged and I turned around poured myself a shot of vodka.  I took around five shots feeling the alcohol in me.

Autumn's head was nuzzling the back of my neck and then she went up to my ear whispering, "Dance with me?"  I took one more shot and nodded to her looking at Katie.  When she looked up I pointed to the livingroom where people were dancing and it seemed like she got the hint because she nodded and I let myself be pulled by Autumn.  She brought us into the crowd surrounded by the other warm bodies of people.  When she stopped I grabbed her by her belt loops and pulled her into me aggressively starting to dance at a fast pace.  Autumn smiled and put her hands on my shoulders grinding back into me.  I rested my forehead against hers while I panted from all the grinding.  Quickly Autumn spun me around so my back was to her front and continued to dance with me flush against her.  With all the vodka in my system everything was fuzzy but my senses were heightened, every touch was like fire but I felt like I was doing something wrong.  All my thoughts flew out the window when Autumn moved my hair to the side and started to slowly kiss my neck while continuing to grind into my back.  This isn't fair to Autumn stop while you're ahead.  My thoughts were racing but I didn't want to stop.  I knew it was selfish but I was enjoying everything that I was happening between us.  You know you can't move on from Katie because you are in love with her.  My eyes shot open and I looked over at Autumn who had a raised eyebrow in confusion.  I shook my head and leaned to her ear, "Give me a minute I am going to get another drink."  She nodded and pulled me into her kissing me hard.  Ugh screw you Katie.  Detaching from Autumn I pushed my way through people to get back to the kitchen.  Where did Katie go.  Confused even with my fuzzy mind where Katie went I knew she could handle herself so I focused back on the drinks.  At this point I started grabbing bottles and pouring them altogether in a cup downing it.  I winced at the burn but smiled looply from the numb feeling.  I vaguely recognized Autumn walking towards me and pushed me back against the counter.  "Stay here now I need a drink."  Too drunk, I only nodded and saw her blurry figure drink out of bottles before walking back over to me. 

I wrapped my arms around her neck bringing her lips to mine in a heated kiss.  Both too drunk, the kiss was mainly tongue and teeth clashing together.  Eventually we both pulled apart for air and with our foreheads still together I heard her say, "Want to find a room?"  I nodded my head and she smiled taking a step back and offering her hand.  Taking her hand Autumn and I were off to find a vacant bedroom.  Now this was not my first time considering I had lost my v-card junior year in high school to an old friend of mine but it made me excited because it had been a while since I was with someone.  My gut had a nagging feeling to it and it wouldn't go away.  By the time we found a room Autumn locked the door and we quickly went back to kissing.  She walked me over to the bed and when the back of my legs hit the bed I fell onto it back first.  When the kiss was becoming more heated the gut feeling got the the point to where I couldn't handle it anymore.  I broke the kiss and panted saying, "Wait Autumn stop."  She immediately stopped and got off of me, "Is everything okay?"  I sighed and sat up running a hand through my hair shaking my head.  I looked down at my hands and tried to form a sentence in my fuzzy brain.  "I-I can't do t-this.  I-I'm sorry."  My eyes started to water and since I was so far gone I couldn't control the words flowing out of my mouth.  "I-I like someone else.  I have for years I just can't do this to her."  Autumn was more sober then I was so she was listening intently.  "I just don't want to ruin what Katie and I have just because of my feelings."  I slurred out quickly while crying.  "And I probably look like a mess but I can't do this to you Autumn.  You can find someone who can fully like and love you as much as you feel for them."  She grabbed my face when all my thoughts spilled out of my mouth and made me look at her.  "Hey it is okay thank you for telling me even though you probably won't remember this in the morning.  I have to say though, Katie is a lucky girl to have you.  I say just go for it the worst that can happen is she stops you."  Thinking about what she said I saw her stand up and offered her hand.  "I think it's time for both of us to go home."  Grabbing her hands stumbling and slurring I said, "How are you going to get home?"  She guided me back downstairs and said, "Uber."  The heat from everything came back like a wave and I knew I was drenched in sweat myself and it was really difficult to focus or do anything for that matter. 

Right now Autumn was helping me walk around the party to what I am assuming looking for something.  I heard when she found what she was looking for, or should I say who.  "Hey Katie I think Violet here is done for the night."  I felt myself being given to Katie and I leaned against her with my head in her neck.  "Thank you Autumn for looking out for her."  I heard Katie say.  After a minute I felt her hand start to go through my hair, "Come on let's go home."  Distractedly I nodded and mumbled against her neck, "You always smell good."  I felt goosebumps form and hands pushing my shoulders back.  I smiled crooked and tried to focus on Katie's face but it was no use.  I felt myself being walked and when I felt the cool night air I knew that we were walking to the car.  "Hey should you be driving, you drank too."  I slurred and poked her collarbone softly.  "I had one drink and it's been enough time where I don't even feel it anymore.  We will be fine now you get into the passenger seat."  I heard the door open and moved to sit in the seat while stumbling every couple of seconds.  Once I was inside Katie strapped me in and I said, "You are too good."  Katie didn't say anything and close my door when she was done walking to the drivers side starting the car.  Word vomit started coming from my mouth when Katie started to drive us back to her house.  "You know you are so pretty Katie how do you not have a boyfriend or girlfriend."  I looked over at her and poked her cheek making her smile.  "I don't know Violet I guess I am waiting for someone."  I sat back in my seat looking ahead slurring, "I wish it was me.  I love you Katie and more then a friend.  But I don't want to ruin anything.  But everytime I see you all I want to do is kiss you.  You deserve better though.  You don't need a fuck up like me messing up your life."  I started to fall asleep against the window, "I just wished you liked me back the same way I do..."  Was the last thing I said before I passed out.