Back together? // Taekook ✅

Chapter 1 - Hang-ups

"I thought I could forget, but I can't." Tae said sighing deeply.

Jimin shook his head in frustration.

"I don't get it, Tae. You still love him, don't you?"

"Yes. That's the problem." Tae said. "I love him more than anything, and just because of that, I can't forget, I can't understand why he did it. How could he do that to me, Jimin?"

"Fuck it, you weren't even in a relationship when it happened!" Jimin protested.

"I know, Jimin. But I can't stop thinking about it. It affects my possibility to be happy with him. And when it makes me unhappy, I will make my bunny unhappy and I can't stand that either, I love him so." Tae said.

"You are a confused mess right now, Tae, get a grip." Jimin sighed.

Tae and JK were two months back together again after a difficult break-up, during which JK had acted really stupid. 

He had gotten drunk and kissed another boy at a bar, and after that he stayed the night at that boy's place, in his bed.

And as if that was not enough, he had done the same with a girl a short time afterwards. He had even made out with the girl in front of Tae's eyes, to make him jealous. 

Tae had forgiven him. In words, but not at all in his heart and mind.

Tae knew his reaction wasn't fair. 

JK might have been stupid, but it was Tae who had broken up with JK in the first place, leaving him miserable and lonely. 

And even if the break-up was forced upon them by the school headmaster threatening to expel Tae from school for being in a gay relationship, it was still Tae who made the decision. 

Also, how could he blame JK for being with someone else when they weren't even a couple at the time?

However unfair, the result was that Tae couldn't engage in their relationship as he used to.

Every time he kissed JK he thought about how JK kissed those others and every time they got into bed together, Tae's mind got stuck thinking about JK in bed with that other boy. 

He pictured JK touching that other boy, undressing for him, letting that other boy feel his body, holding him close ... and other things.

When JK wasn't there, Tae longed for JK. He longed to hold him, to touch him, to be near him. But whenever JK was there and they got physically close, the thoughts about JK with that other boy appeared in his mind and fucked things up. 

Tae hadn't told JK any of this, not knowing how to explain when he had already said he forgave him. 

Instead he had begun to avoid his boyfriend.

————— 

"Jin, I feel miserable" JK said.

"Oh, sweetie, did Tae do something to make you sad again?" Jin said.

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"Tell me about it, darling."

"It is not so much something particular that he did, more what he didn't do."

"Something Tae didn't do made you miserable?"