Darry Curtis' Notebook

It Ain't A Diary

Two-Bit watched as Darry's eyes flicked from the notebook in his hands to his eyes. The color quickly drained from the older man's face and his hand gripped the door tighter, he looked as if he was about to pass out. He dropped the notebook and quickly stood from his spot on the bed, making his way to him just in case he did. Thankfully he didn't, he only opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to think of what to say. Afraid that Darry would never be able to say anything under all the sudden anxiety, Two-Bit spoke for him.

"Dar, hey, we can talk later. It's okay." He murmured. As he spoke he carefully removed his hand from the door, helping him regain his balance.

The two looked at each other for a moment, wondering what they should say. Two-Bit decided that the scared look on Darry's face was even worse than the one he had imagined while reading. It was awful. He looked terrified and on the verge of tears, Two-Bit's chest ached and he went to say something again when a familiar voice broke the staring contest going on between the two of them.

"Darry! I can't find my book!" Ponyboy's voice rang out through the house, suddenly making everything start back into motion.

Darry went to go help him and Two-Bit managed to sneak out of his room and into the bathroom without being seen. Two-Bit sat on the closed toilet seat for a minute and sighed. He ran his hands over his face. He hoped Darry didn't hate him for reading through his letters. He finally managed to work up the courage to face the Curtis' and stood up. He washed his hands to get the sweat off of them and then walked back into the living room where Pony and Soda greeted him.

Hours had passed and Soda and Pony had been sent to bed. Darry hadn't spoken a word to Two-Bit, and that made his skin itch in a weird way. What if they never spoke to each other again? A part of his brain tried to convince himself that was illogical, the other half reminded him how terrified Darry had looked when he was caught reading through his notebook.

After a few minutes of them awkwardly watching the Tv, Two-Bit looked at Darry and cleared his throat. Before Darry could even look at him he said, "We gotta talk about it, Dar."

"I know."

Two-Bit looked up at him and gave what he hoped was a comforting smile. Darry wasn't looking at him, only at the carpet. He was picking at a scab, his eyes darting back and forth between invisible objects on the floor. Two-Bit sighed and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, and turned the Tv off. It was odd to think that mere hours ago he was sat on that couch, watching some random cooking show and eating chocolate cake, unaware of the older man's feelings for him. Darry inhaled and looked up finally, although still not at Two-Bit. It was a start though.

"What do you want to know?" He asked, his voice soft and shaky. He sounded so so so scared and it made Two-Bit's chest ache.

He was quiet for a few moments before whispering, "Everything. Whatever you want to tell me, I'll listen."

Darry visibly swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing. Finally, he found the words and began to speak. "Mary's the first letter, and she cheated on me, as you know. She was climbing in her parents' car to leave town since they were movin'. I came up to say goodbye, and she just looked at me with a heartbroken expression and kissed my cheek. Then she told me she had cheated on me and she got into the car and her and her family left without another word."

Two-Bit swallowed and nodded, Darry was fidgeting worse now. His hands scratching at the denim covering his thighs. The redhead inhaled and exhaled before quietly, only barely audibly asking, "And what about David, Dar?"

Darry took in a shaky breath and shrugged. A smile seemed to nudge up the corners of his mouth and Darry said, "What else is there to say? I loved him so god damn much."

"Do you still think about him?"

"Everyday."

Suddenly Darry stood up, pulling something out of his back pocket. His hands were shaky and clumsy and Two-Bit looked away. He didn't know why the shakiness and the raggedness of his breath just seemed so raw. Almost like it was a moment no one should be watching. Finally, after seconds that seemed like years, Darry handed Two-Bit a silver necklace with a dog tag attached to it.

Two-Bit turned the tag over and read the back of it, a sudden pang shooting through his chest.

Holt

David A.

B Pos

No Preference

Two-Bit looked up at Darry who had a wobbly lip. The younger man swallowed and looked back at the necklace. It had yellowing deep in the words on the metal. It was rubbed shiny, fingerprints visible in the light. He looked up at Darry again who gave a helpless smile and shrugged. Too scared. Two-Bit thought. He looks so scared.

Darry finally found the words and whispered, "Say, Two-Bit, h-how far did ya get in the stupid book?"

Two-Bit snapped, "It ain't stupid!" And immediately recoiled when he saw Darry jump a bit. Be quieter dumbass. You're being too rough.

"Sorry.."

"It's alright."

No, it ain't.

"But, um... Let's just say I'm sorry Mary and Sharon didn't work out, I'm so, so sorry about David. I'm gonna punch Paul the next time I see his dumb, stuck up ass," He inhaled, anxiety running through him like Pony during the hundred-yard dash, "And I'm willin' to give us a shot if you'd like me to stick around for a while." His voice was a barely-there murmur once he finished speaking, and Darry looked half ready to cry.

That thought had Two-Bit jumping up, scrambling to apologize and comfort Darry in any way he could. Finally, though, Darry grabbed the sides of his face. His hands warm and calloused, and Two-Bit vaguely remembered something his mom had once said about how the Curtis' had hands that were never meant to do hard labor. Suddenly, Two-Bit ached for a world where Darry Curtis never had to give up college.

"Are you sure, Two-Bit?" He asked, quiet as a mouse.

"Am I sure about what?" Easy, he thought, Have to be gentle with him.

"I-I mean, I just don't seem to have the best track record for people wantin' to stay with me when the goin' gets tough."

Two-Bit chuckled a bit and slowly his hands found their way to Darry's sides. He felt him inhale, long and shaky.

"Yeah, Dar. I'm sure."

Those words had Darry falling into him with relief. Would it be hard for them to explain how they became one big, hugging, crying mess if someone found them? Oh yeah. Would Two-Bit find a way to explain if it meant Darry'd have one less stress on his back? Is that even a question?

After a few minutes of silence between them, Two-Bit decided to break the silence.

"I'm thinkin' of startin' my own diary." He murmured, to which he got an indignant huff.

"It ain't a diary, but continue."

"Whatever, but each and every page is gonna be a letter to you so you know that I really mean it when I love you."

"That's cheesy, and you haven't even taken me to dinner yet."

"You know it."

Darry laughed softly and Two-Bit squeezed him. And secretly, Two-Bit was glad it had been hot that day and that he had decided to go snooping through the Curtis' house.

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And thus it concludes (even if it's been over for a long ass time) I hope y'all enjoyed!!