DROPLETS || YOONMIN

Chapter 4

The feeling of uneasiness was growing in the pit of my stomach. I could've never been ready for the words that left his lips at that time.

«If in 10 years you're still living here, doing some cheap and unsatisfactory job, you'd better find another best friend then»

«Jimin, you owe it to me and above all, you owe it to yourself.

We met each other when we were kids, but you have never done a single thing for yourself. Not even once.»

Taehyung was holding my hand. His eyes were already glossy when they interlocked with mine.

«I can't see you destroying yourself any longer. I want you gone. If it means having you disappear from my life just so that you can find yourself and be who you are, then be it.

I'd rather live without you by my side, than seeing this version of you.

You wanna know what's my biggest dream? Knocking on your door and not finding you there.»

He was a crying mess by now and I could feel my heart breaking. I could never see him in pain.

I reach my hand forward trying to soothe him, but he just catches it and starts yelling at me.

«Stop it. Jimin, it's enough. You don't have to hold back. I can't stand you acting like this.

Let it go Jimin. It's fine. Please, let everything out. Please»

I could hear a loud shriek, it was painful to even listen to it. But where was it coming from?

I looked at Taehyung alarmed. It wasn't him.

«Jimin, it's okay. Let it all out. Good boy»

Taehyung was holding me in his arms and only then did I figure out where that desperate scream was coming from. The tears burst forth with sudden force.

I was shocked to get aware of having my mouth open. That agonizing high-pitched shriek was making his way out of my trembling body. It wished to be heard. It had to be heard out.

The walls, my walls that had always held me up and made me act strong, just collapsed.

They were falling down.

I was sobbing into Taehyung's chest unceasingly. My hands were clutching his hoodie. He was holding me in silence, rocking me slowly and I couldn't have asked for more.

That was all I need: support. I needed him to be there for me. I needed him to be my solid ground, whilst my walls were being reduced to dust.

I can't stop. I can't stop. Why can I not stop crying?

I couldn't wear my mask of coping any longer. I thought that I would've been so scared when that mask would eventually fall down.

I've been wearing it for a very long time, after all. It would hide my wounds from the world, but I should've known.

Taehyung knows. He has always seen behind my thick mask. He could see me, my raw self.

And just like that, I tightened my hold on him even more.

We've been in this position for a while, calming down and drawing invisible circles on each other's covered skin.

It's going to be night-time soon. The scorching globe is pouring itself into the dark monochrome landscape.
Obscurity is starting to embrace our surroundings.

«Your face looks so ugly right now.» Tsk, this boy.

«Have you seen yourself?» He sticks out his tongue and turns his face away.

«We should get going. It's starting to get cold.»

«Yeah, let's go.»

We dust our clothes from any trace of dry grass and head back home.

--TIME SKIP-

I step into the shower and immediately flinch when my feet touch the cold ceramic floor.

A hot stream of water is sliding along my body lines. The water pours down, it drips by my side.

It calms me and drags my mind away.

I rinse off and get out of the shower. With a towel hanging low on my hips, I start packing. Well, packing isn't the right word.

I throw whatever I found inside an old, navy blue rucksack. It doesn't take a long time since I don't like collecting objects.

I've never liked the idea of attributing feelings to material things. They would make you remember the moments and people that you wanted to forget.

Once I'm done preparing everything, I dress up in some comfortable clothes.

I'm leaving. This so-called life I've been living until now, I want it to be gone.

I'm going to stop being a caricature of myself. This version of me is dying tonight. I'm killing it.

I take one last glance around and I close the door. Goodbye old me.

I direct myself towards the bus station. There is no-one but me here right now. It's understandable since it's quite late, after all.

Wait, is that Mr Kim? I thought that he was out of town for affairs.

Something is not right. Should I investigate? I check the time on my mobile, the bus isn't going to arrive anytime soon.

Hmm...okay, let's see what he's up to.

I cross the road and get near his car.

NO, please don't tell me that...? I'm so sorry, Miss Kim, your husband can't keep his little friend inside his pants.

Well, this could turn out on my favour.

I knock on the window and the noises abruptly come to a halt.

«Mr Kim, lower the window. I know that you're in there»
Some minutes pass, and he's still not responding. He doesn't leave me another choice then.

I start dialling a number and press the screen of my mobile against the glass.

«Is she gonna pick up? I wonder»

Immediately the door opens and Mr Kim comes out of his vehicle. Damn, that smell...ugh.

«What do you think you're doing?» He's trying to take the phone away from my hand, but he's miserably failing.

«I'm just doing you a favour. I bet that living with an attorney it's hard since you're finding relief somewhere else."

The girl sitting on the passenger seat must've been at least five years younger than his wife.

«What do you want?» Mr Kim is clenching his fists beside his body, and he got his teeth bared. He looks like a ferocious puppy. I end the call.

«Are you trying to buy my silence my dear Donghee? It won't be cheap»

«Just tell me your price!» How lucky! I've been blessed tonight. Let's see. How much should I ask?

With a sly smirk, I affirm: "1 thousand dollars should be enough oh and I want that too" I point to his car with my finger as I watch his face draining of colour.

«I can't do that!»

«Oh look, Miss Kim is trying to call me? Should I pick up? Tick, tock Donghee»

«Fine! Fuck, fine! Here are the keys and I put the money on your bank account»

«How sweet of you. Thank you, Mr Kim»
I show him my famous eye smile, and he swears under his breath.

«I hope you enjoy your night» and after saying that I start the engine and the motor roars to life.

This shouldn't be considered as stealing, right? I mean, we made a pact after all.

I smile to myself and start driving towards my unknown destination.

New life, here I come.