I'm Not the Man You Knew (Depressed! Hawks)

Chapter 7

Hawks POV

Endeavor greeted me with: "You're late. Again."

"Yeah sorry about that. I lost track of time." He looked me up and down and pointed at me.

"Those explain everything." I realized hickies were all long the side of my neck.

I blushed and sat down across from his desk.

"How are you feeling? Those burns look nasty." He asked. 

"They are fine. I've been through worse." Endeavor looked like he was going to say something but he refrained.

"I need to talk with you about your new assignment. You will get a higher pay if you take this job on. And yes, it is your choice." 

"Spill. What is the job?" I asked eagerly.

He sighed and spoke. "We want you to be a spy for the us to the villains." I was shocked, I didn't know how to react. "You would convince them you want to join them and how you want to change sides. But you would come back to the agency after every day of working for them to give the report." Endeavor intertwined his fingers and set them on his desk.

I was still lost for words. 'He wants me. Hawks. The #2 hero. To join the villains?!' "Endeavor, are you serious?" He nodded. "C- could I have the day to think it over? I will report back to you with my decision tomorrow."

"Of course. This is a huge thing to ask someone of your ranking." 

I thanked him and he dismissed me. I walked out of the room with my fingers nervously tugging at the fur of my jacket. My feathers started to drag behind me as my wings grew lower to the ground. I took the stairs- on foot- to get to my office. Once I got there, I looked out the window and started pacing around my office. 

"Okay, so I will be able to work with Dabi. But what if I see what he really does every mission and I start hating him?! No, I love him. Nothing will change that. Fuck." I walked around the office talking to myself. My wings were now on the ground trailing behind me. But then I thought of the day before when my wings turned black. "Why did they turn black? How to I prevent that? How did it even happen?!" 

My breathing began to quicken and my mind started racing. I started to pull on my hair and I shrunk to the ground.

'It will happen.'

'Your wings will turn black.'

'Thats showing your weakness and how much of it there is.'

'You are panicking about nothing.'

'Stop being a baby.'

'You don't deserve to be the #2 hero.'

'You're worthless.'

Thoughts like these kept running throughout my head until I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and opened the door to leave the building. It opened before me and I flew out of the tower. My breathing was getting faster, so much so I didn't have any breath left. 

'You can't even control your breathing? Wow. What a strong hero you are.'

My wings started dropping me down lower and lower. My wings stopped flapping and I wrapped myself in them so my body wouldn't be effected by the fall but my wings still got hurt. I scampered up and started running. I couldn't breath. I ducked into a small ally and sat down with my back to the wall.

"C-calm down. B-breath Keig-go." I tried to calm myself down. I tried to think of what Dabi did to me yesterday to help me calm down. But nothing came to mind. "D-Dabi..." I wanted to go home to see him but I couldn't gain the strength to get up. Even my wings wouldn't do as I asked. I slowly began to loose consciousness but I tried to move closer to the entrance of the alleyway but everything caved in and my vision went dark.