Begin Again

BEFORE I FALL APART

'So tell me.' He said.

She stared at him as if she was looking at a stranger, but it was exactly how she felt. 

'I want to know everything.' 

'Okay.' She nodded her head slowly. This was it. The moment she had been fearing ever since she realized that she had fallen head over heels in love with him. 

She shifted her position so that she was sitting cross-legged directly in front of him and that their eyes were at the same level. She did not want to miss any part of his expression when she was to break the news. 

'Can I ask you something?' He spoke suddenly, his voice fragile like an empty wine bottle hanging on a thin thread. 

'Anything.' She smiled uneasily. 

'Did you do it? Brooklyn's locker?' 

His question was straight to the point, not leaving her any room for denial. It was a harsh approach, but she knew that the sooner she told him, the better it would be. So she gave in to the emotional part of herself. 

'Yes, those words,' She paused. 'I-I was...'

'Unhappy.' She finished. 

'So you told her to stay away from me?' 

Belle nodded unwillingly, licking her dry lips to distract herself from the bubbling anxiety in her gut. 

'The skunk spray?'

'Yes, that was me too.'

Delano sighed. His eyes were filled with a mixture of shock, disbelief and disappointment. 

'You do care about her.' He heard her whisper to herself, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible, as if she was talking to the moon. 

'Her? Brooklyn?' He asked. 

Belle turned away, not wanting him to see her tears as they fall. 

'Hey,' His previously flat voice suddenly turned gentle and warm as he embraced her from behind, letting his arms wrap her around her shoulders. 

'Yes, I care. But not because she was victimized. I care because it was you who did it, Belle.' 

He could feel her starting to tremble, and warm tears were dripping onto his arms like raindrops in the moonlight. 

'It's okay, I'm not angry. I just-' 

She turned around and looked at him, and she could see her own reflection in his blue eyes. It felt like she was already drowning in the ocean. And no one could save her. 

'That wasn't the only wrong thing I've done, Delano.' 

He frowned. 

'What do you mean? There's more?'

She sucked in a deep breath and said. 

'I told you, I've done real terrible things. But I couldn't help it, I just don't want to lose you.' 

'You'll never lose me. I love you and you know that.' He comforted her and gave her a light kiss on the side of her right cheek. 

Both of them straightened their backs and gazed into each other's eyes.

'Alright. What's the next thing?' He asked.

'Austin.' The name came out of her mouth quicker than he could expect, as if she had already thought this whole conversation through. He nodded for her to continue. 

'I was the one who stole the files, and I put them into Austin's locker.' 

The sentence itself was simple. 

'And you made him get suspended?' 

'It was supposed to be that way, I've checked his record already, it was his third strike.' 

Delano looked down at the ground, which was two floors below them. 

'Let me guess, you did it just because he hit me?' He lifted his head. 

'Yeah,' She said calmly, but her eyes were trying to avoid his gaze. 'He didn't just hit you, Delano, you were bleeding. You were bruised and I was in pain with you. Right here.' She put her right hand over her heart. 

'Belle, you ruined his testimonial,' Delano explained. 

'He deserved it.' 

She said those words as if she was telling him a line from a novel, her voice flat without emotion, and her gaze was sharp like she was trying to look through his head. It was like there was something more to her behavior, that she was hiding something from her past that was hurting her. 

'Belle-' 

'It's late.' She cut him off and stood up to brush the fresh tears from her face. 'You should get some sleep, you have school tomorrow.'

And she jumped from the roof to the tree. 

'Belle,' He called out to her, and although her back was facing him, he knew that she heard him because she stopped moving.

'Did you tell me everything already?'

She turned her head and said something, but her words were blown away by the sudden gust of strong wind before she disappeared.

Though he was pretty sure the shape of her lips made out the words---

---I'm sorry.