Upside Down [mxm] [editing]

Chapter 11

"Dickie, we're home!"  Julian's voice could be heard echoing up the stairwell along with the sound of quick-moving and much smaller feet on polished hardwood.  "Alex."  There was a softer, sweet kind of scolding.  "Remember, we walk up the stairs, not run." 

Alex, the other one, thought he heard a small voice primly repeat the words  "Walk, not run." as the awkward, heavy footsteps that children tended to have slowed down. He wasn't altogether certain about his hearing, though, as the sound of rushing blood was currently drowning everything else out. 

Several years ago Alex had picked up the habit of leaving his phone in the town car when he was off doing donor meetings.  It allowed him to be screen-free when interacting with those who would effectively fund his career.  They felt special that someone so important would forgo all other issues of the day to meet with them, and Sebastian had the number of the driver should anything important come up.  This had only ever worked in his favor until now.

Now Alex was trying really hard not to lose the liquid in his body through various exits, all while wishing he'd had his damned phone so he could have run to the bathroom and sent Julian a series of texts ranging from help, to what the fuck, and then back again. Instead, Alex was left listening to his doom approach, also known as the two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs, while his mind puzzled over how Julian's simple greeting to his husband sounded so loving.

All this time, Alex always thought that Julian's  'honey I'm home' thing had been for him and him alone.

If he hadn't already been sitting, Alex would have needed to in order to lower the chances of crashing to the floor when he passed out.  Good god, how was he going to play this off?  How was Julian?  This was not part of the plan.

"Remember." Dick spoke up, all pleasant and cheerful as his features filled with undeniably mischievous glee. "Mum's the word." He tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially and winked.  Jesus, Alex really was going to puke.

"I know you."   The little feet got there first, having made it up a whole flight and off the landing before her other father (Co-father?  Wow, Alex should know more about how two-dad households worked) managed to cross the same distance.  She was always fast, wasn't she, and getting into places she shouldn't.  "You helped with the butterfly." 

Dick turned to look, quite puzzled, in Alexander's direction. Obviously Julian hadn't shared about their park meeting.

"That's right!"  Alex replied with the fake-laugh he'd used far too often.  "At Central Park.   It's nice to see you again."  What was he supposed to do?  Did you pet children?  He didn't know her well enough for a hug. Maybe a handshake?  Yes.  That was what he would do, and, from the chair where he'd eaten lunch and had been discussing ways for someone else to make Julian happy, Alex knelt so as to be on the little girl's level and offered her his hand.

This led to Alexandra looking to Dick, also her father, for approval, and upon receiving a nod, shyly moving forward to put her little hand into Alex's outstretched and larger one.  It was a cute moment, but not one cute enough to erase the turmoil in Alex's mind.  This was Julian's daughter, he was in Julian's house, kneeling on the dining room floor and watching as Julian swept in overflowing with shopping bags and making a beeline for his husband.

Please don't.  Alex thought to himself as he shook the little hand in his before releasing it, finishing his part in the play as he watched the other scene unfold painfully before him.  Please don't be affectionate with him. The only way that Alex had been able to deal with the infidelity of all that he and Julian had been doing was to imagine that there was a lack of something between Julian and Dick.  But as Alex rose to a stand, he saw that wasn't the case.

No, Julian only had eyes for the older man, grinning that same smile that - once more - Alex had assumed was for him alone.  Apparently Julian had picked up some sort of treat and was excitedly telling Dick all about it before leaning in for a kiss.  Finally, after Alex had plotted how to go all Oedipus and stab his eyes out, Julian turned to greet the other adult in the room - likely presumed to be a business partner of his husband's - when realization dawned and crumpled his face.

But Julian's broken features were no match for Alexander's. That ability Alex had sought to perfect, the practice he'd put in, all to remain impassive no matter what was said or hurled at him, turned out to be an utter waste.  Every emotion Alex was going through was shown blatantly in the depth of his eyes, the twist of his mouth, the paleness of his skin. He couldn't breathe, he had to breathe, he needed to get out of there.

"Julian."  Alex's voice was rough and hoarse, and clearing his throat he tried again.  "It's so good to see you."  For a moment he considered going for the normal and socially expected handshake but he couldn't possibly touch Julian at that moment, that would be his breaking point.  "Mr. Richardson," Alex held up a hand at the forthcoming correction, "Dick, thank you again for the meal.  You are a talented cook, Julian is a very lucky man."  He was going to lose it, soon, a moment more and he would fall apart.  "I'm afraid our meeting has gone long and I have to run to another appointment. I'll be in touch for that recipe."  The fake smile flashed again, before Alex patted Alexandra's head, nodded at Julian, and made for the stairs before practically running down them, hunting for any available escape.