A Certain Fairy Tail Christmas (An R.I.F.T. Christmas Story)

Grinchy Grinchy Bandits.

Somewhere in Paris..

Hoshimi was clinging to the spire of the Eifel Tower her hand shaded over heer eyes as she searched and searched for her quarry.

"HERE PIKA CLAUSE!!!" Hoshimi called out as many baffled tourists stared up at her. "Here!! Pika pika pika!! Here Pika Clause!! Guess Pika Clause isn't here either!"

And with that, Hoshimi flew off into the sky, looking for Pika Clause. 

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Back in Fiore

"S-s-so... a-acording to the l-last village we passed. W-w-we should be arriving in Hargeon in about.. a-a-about... brrrrr... oh my god it's cold." Mikoto huddeled her coat around herself and shivered as she held the reins of the large snorting boar that was pulling the carriage down the snowy path.

"I'm sorry Mikoto." said Wendy from where she sat next to Mikoto in the carriage. "I didn't realize the weather would be this bad..a-ACHOO!!"

Mikoto put a hand to Wendy' forehead. "You okay? you might be coming down w-w-with s-s-so-ACHOO!"

Wendy shivered a little. Her breath was like mist in the cold. "M-maybe there's an inn where we can stay until it get's warmer.

"I think there's one a few miles up." said Mikoto. "Though at the rate things are going, we might lose our fingers by the time we get there.. "

"M-maybe I-I was wrong.." Wendy murmured to herself. "I-Is this too much to do just to find a perfect gift?"

"It is a bit much for a Megatron thingy." said Mikoto with a smile. "But we can't turn back now can we?"

"Megatron?" Wendy said. "What Megatron?"

"Er.. the reason we went on this job?" said Mikoto raising an eyebrow. "To get Natsu that Megatron.. cause you couldn't return the Grimlock guy?"

"O-OH!! Right!! hehehehe...heh..." Wendy shook her head. "No.. I won't give up! I have to keep going!"

A voice suddenly spoke out from the back of the carriage. "DEAR LORD!! Can we please hurry up and find some place warm already!?"

A small stuffed lion plushie doll poked out from the back, sneezing. "ACHOO!! Why the heck did you two bring me anyways!?"

"Don't start with me Kon." Mikoto growled. "You're the one who said 'Oh I wanna hug cute cute Mikoto's chest in the nice fluffy white snow'... seriously, pervert... anyways, I'm only bringing you as a favor to Misaki. She's tired of you hanging around and always asking to fondle her chest!"

"I never knew a plushie could be such a pervert." said Wendy.

"Wh-what!? Is that what you all think of me!?" Kon exclaimed in horror. "I-I'm not a pervert!!"

Mikoto groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead. "Oh my god.. you are such a.."

"Mikoto? Maybe we could go easy on him? He's a doll so he doesn't have those.." Wendy whispered the rest of the sentence. "Other parts..."

Kon's little furry jaw dropped in shock when he heard those words. "She.. she.. she just completely stripped this man of his dignity.."

"Man? What man?" Mikoto muttered. "You're a pill inside a kid's toy.. it's amazing you even have any sort of sexual desires."

"I AM A MAN!! OF COURSE I HAVE SEXUAL DESIRES!!!" Kon screamed. "RIGHT NOW!! I DESIRE FOR YOU MIKOTO MISAKA!!! SWEET SWEET MIKOTO MISAKA!! TO HUG ME AGAINST YOUR SLOWLY DEVELOPING BOSSOM!!! A BOSSOM THAT HAS ONLY JUST STARTED TO GROW LARGER EVER SO SLOWLY!!!"