Growing Together

Chapter 12

LINE Message: SANDEE
We are all worried, Kao. You've been gone for too long. Are you okay?? Call me okay?

LINE Message: SANDEE
If you don't want to talk to Pete, then talk to us at the very least. Your friends are worried.

LINE Message: JUNE
Can't you call us? We miss you boy! You're friends want to see you.

LINE Message: JUNE
Kao, can't you just give Pete the chance to make up?

LINE Message: SANDEE
I know you don't want to talk about it but Kao, please give Pete the chance to talk to you.

LINE Message: THADA
Kao, I know you don't want to see him but you should talk to him.

Those were a few of the many messages that he had received from his friends. At least the few he had actually read—he didn't even dare to open Pete's messages. Sandee had called him several times but every time it rang he couldn't bring himself to answer because he knew that she could somehow talk him into seeing Pete and that was something he wasn't ready to do.

He was still hurt and angry at Pete for how he had been acting towards him since before he had known about the baby and every moment­­ after. Besides, he knew Pete far too well to know he wouldn't fully accept it completely for all that it was that came with being a father. At least not in the way Kao needed him to. Pete was a bit homophobic at the beginning of their friendship and even after they had shared their first time together. Pete had far too many doubts about who he was and the choice they both had made that night. It was that same insecurity why Kao wasn't sure he wanted to speak to Pete.

He loved Pete, he could admit that out loud, but he had always known about his own sexuality and had the time to explore and come to terms with it. Pete hadn't, he was just realizing it for himself and with how things were at the moment it was a lot to take in and adjust to, and for that Kao couldn't fault him for.

However, he had a baby on the way, and it wouldn't be fair for their child to have to go through every bit of Pete's insecurities, fears, and doubts. He didn't want to hurt himself nor their son by taking this kind of risk of trusting that Pete wouldn't change his mind along the way. A part of him had thought about this more times than he would have liked, but what else was there to occupy his mind when the hours alone were far too long?

He didn't want to keep Pete away forever. He wanted him to be in their son's life if he wanted to be, even if they weren't together. All Kao wanted was to know he could trust Pete not to break their son's heart.

"Kao, I'm home." He heard the familiar voice of Mork's echo into the room as footsteps followed.

Soon the younger man was walking into the room with a brown bag in hand and a not so pleasant expression on his face.

"How was work?" Kao asked as a soft smile stretched onto his face. He had moved himself a little back to support his weight against the backrest of the bed. "What did you bring me this time?" He had asked curiously getting too accustomed to these frequent little snacks Mork sneaked to him from the café.

"It was busy, P'Sun thinks that this might become a regular thing for us for a little while especially since a popular online blogger wrote about our café," Mork said with a smile as he sat down on the other side of the bed that Kao was not occupying before he was holding the bag out towards him with a, "Why don't you have a look."

"That's great! Hopefully, it helps SunRain café become busier," Kao said with a smile as he focused his attention on exploring the contents of the bag.

"Hopefully, it would be good for P'Sun," Mork said a little hopeful. After all, the café at the moment was doing okay but he knew they were barely getting by.

Kao had pulled out a couple of onesies with matching hats, all in shades of blue and green with all kinds of little patterns. "Mork, when did you get all of these?" Kao had said feeling his eyes water from the kind gift. The man had always joked that he would be the one to buy the first baby item for him. He couldn't help but tear up just imagining that soon a little baby will be wearing this.

"They're from Pete," Mork said getting Kao's to turn towards him.

"Pete?" Kao said almost in disbelief as a frown started to settle onto his face.

Mork had nodded his head, he wanted to joke and lighten the mood but Rain's words had flooded to his mind. It made him sigh just thinking about it, but Rain was right maybe Kao should talk to Pete. "We didn't want to say anything because we didn't want to stress you, but Pete's been coming around the café a lot asking to see you." He said feeling a little sorry they had hidden it from him for this long. It's just Mork, himself, didn't trust Pete not to hurt Kao again but somehow looking at this gift it proved something to him. Pete was trying his best to be a part of their lives and that was something that he nor anyone could stand in the way of. "I think maybe you should talk to him, Kao. At least hear him out."

"Yeah, maybe you're right..." Kao said letting his hands caress the fabric of the onsie in his hand as a small smile settled onto his face.

***

After dinner, Mork had gone to his bedroom to get some sleep and Kao couldn't blame him. If things were as he had told him, then he must be exhausted from running around all day in the café. Besides, with the weekend coming to an end Mork would have classes tomorrow.

He had looked over at the clock sitting on the nightstand and bit his lower light. 'It's only 11 pm, Pete would still be awake, right?' He thought to himself as he let his thumb run over the screen of his phone. It was easy to pull up Pete's contact but pressing the call button hadn't been so easy. He had avoided seeing any of his messages or talking to him for so long that he wasn't sure if he could.

He wasn't sure how long he had just stared at Pete's number, hoping for something to happen. It wasn't until he suddenly saw a hand press the call button for him that it had him turning to see Mork standing there with his toothbrush hanging between his teeth.

"How long were you going to stare at that?" Mork said motioning towards his phone.

Kao didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure he wanted to call in the first place, but looking at the bag sitting beside him still, it had him looking down at his phone again. He knew they both could hear the ringing coming from his phone, and for a moment he wished Pete wouldn't answer.

'Kao?' They both heard suddenly.

"I did the hard part, now just talk to him," Mork said gently patting his shoulder before he was heading back out of the room to let him talk.

'Kao? Kao are you there?'

Kao had brought the phone up to his ear before he was saying, "I'm here Pete." He hadn't even thought about what he was going to say to Pete at all, but just hearing his voice now made Kao tear up. "Pete, I'm so sorry..." He chocked out suddenly.

'What are you sorry about, huh? I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have had to be so afraid...' Pete said before he was letting out a breathy sigh into the phone. 'Kao, I'm so sorry. I was stupid. I was scared, I...I don't even know, I was just a lot of things at that moment.'

"You were stupid," Kao agreed to bring his hand up to try and wipe away his own tears but it was no use. The more he wiped them away the more fell to replace the ones he had just wiped away. Even hearing Pete let out a small chuckle was making him cry. He had not known he had just longed to hear his voice this much. "...and I am scared, Pete, I'm very scared."

'I want to see you, Kao,' Pete had pleaded but when Kao had not responded he had quickly said, 'I know you probably don't want to see me right now but let me be there for you and our son. Even if right now it has to be like this, I'll be here. I just...I just want to be there when he's here.' Pete said feeling his hands start to sweat. Kao wasn't saying anything to him anymore and that was making him nervous. What if he didn't want to let him be there anymore? What if...

"Tomorrow," Kao said letting out a shaky breath as he tried not to let his sob be heard, "Tomorrow, I have an appointment at 10 in the morning..."

'I'll be there! I'll be there! I'll pick you up,' Pete had said eagerly before Kao could even tell him where to pick him up.

***

When he had hung up the call Pete had let out a relieved sigh as he patted his chest. Kao had just called him, right? He couldn't believe it, that he had to just check his recent calls just to prove he had not dreamt it. He would be lying if he said he hadn't expected it, but he was glad Kao had reached out. He was about to let out an excited cheer when he realized his dad was standing by the entryway of the living-room.

"Dad..." Pete said sounding a little startled as the smile on his face quickly faded.

"I think we need to have a talk, don't we?" Nick, Pete's father, said with an unreadable stare.