Carousel |pt. 2| pjy

3

I walk inside and find, he's indeed home, cooking in the kitchen. "Shit" I say walking in "I'm sorry, I wanted to be home earlier so I could cook, I just lost track of time." He shakes his head. "It's fine, really. I don't mind" He says with a small smile. "You don't talk very much anymore Jinyoung, what's wrong?" I ask, he shakes his head. "Works just kinda stressful lately, I didn't wanna bring it up and have you worry about me." He chuckles, I look at him. "Why won't you look at me?" 

"Hmm?" He asks glancing at me than back to the food he was cooking. "Seriously Jinyoung, what's gotten into you?" I ask, he shakes his head. "Suki, please i don't wanna talk about it." He says sternly, I nod and go back to the living room. 

Dinner was awkward, we sat in this awkward silence, not even looking at each other. Sleeping was even worse, he wouldn't face me in bed, he laid with his back facing me. I couldn't take it so I went downstairs and cried myself asleep yet again. 

When I woke up the next morning, there was no forehead kiss. No sign Jinyoung was ever there at all actually, I hated it. That stupid coworker of his ruined everything. 

I didn't eat breakfast, instead I trudged to the bathroom with puffy eyes. I didn't care to fix myself up, instead I got a bubble bath made and climbed into it, I relaxed for a while until I started thinking about when Jinyoung used to make me bubble baths when he got home from work and make dinner himself cause he always told me not to. He'd let me relax till dinner was done, then we'd eat and cuddle on our bed and watch movies. Now it's like he can't stand to even look at me, I started bawling in the shower. 

If he doesn't want us anymore why doesn't he just say so? Thoughts like this filled my head only making the crying worse, eventually I was all cried out. The bath water was cold, and Jinyoung was gonna be home soon. I didn't get out, except for to lock the door. I stayed in the tub and laid there staring at the walls and the ceiling wondering Why am I still not good enough for him? Am I not pretty enough? Am I too boring? What's wrong with me? I question, I wanted to fix it. 

I laid there till the doorknob jiggles then someone knocks. "Suki?" Jinyoungs voice said from the other side of the door. I wipe my face off "Yes?" I say trying my best to hide the fact that I've been crying. "Can I come in? I heard you crying..." He mumbles, I sigh. "The doors locked" I say, he sighs but doesn't leave. "I know just let me in please" He says, I get up and unlock the door then going back to get into the tub. 

He walks in and sits on the toilet. "Whats wrong?" He asks, I sigh. "I guess I just miss the old times ya know? I was thinking about high school and I realized how much I wish we had everyone together again." I lie, well not totally I do miss it, but that wasn't at all why I was crying. "Bam and Yuri'll be back tomorrow, Maybe after work we could cook something up and invite them?" He asks, I shake my head. "They won't be home till Tuesday now cause their flight was cancelled due to fear of air traffic" 

"Oh..." He mumbles, I sigh. "Yeah it sucks cause I was really excited to see them" I pout, He nods. There was an awkward silence in the room, I look at him. He looks at me "I know that isn't all, that's not gonna have you basically screaming crying. Plus you didn't eat anything and nothing in the house is different except the fact that one of the pillows was wet, and You've been in here all day, everyone texted me asking if you were okay cause you haven't been answering your phone. So tell me Suki, what's wrong?" ...