Corinna II (twilight saga)

6 ᴥ Thoughts

Why did she have to bring it up? Yes, it bothered me. How could it not? Watching someone you regretfully fell for fall apart over someone they fell for that WASN'T you? Of course I was bothered.
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The drive to Forks wasn't quiet, but god how I wished it was. No one knew we were leaving except Carlisle who was talking with Alice on the phone. It could have been quiet, had I been able to block it out completely, but even if I had I knew that I was just going to be stuck with my own impossibly loud thoughts and that just wasn't an option at the moment.

"How is Corinna?" Carlisle's voice seemed louder to me than to Alice who had the phone pressed right against her ear.

Alice didn't so much as glance at me, "She's-"

"Not wanting to be talked about while she sits right here," I cut her off, crossing my arms and staring at the window.

But they did anyways. This time I did tune it out, and despite my terrible want to not be captured by my own thoughts - I thought about Edward. It felt silly to think that I would so much as cross his mind the way he did mine. It wasn't like I had any real standing with him, right? I barely knew him, barely knew this family, barely knew this place. Yet I had this crazy idea in my head that maybe he felt the things I felt for him. I knew the way it was for our kind: You meet your mate and you fall hard and fast - no matter how oddly rushed it seemed to the outside world.

But that wasn't happening with Edward and I.

Or, maybe it was and there was just something in the way.

"Bella's house isn't far from here," Alice murmured as she slowed down the closer to town we got.

Not something in the way. Someone.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "I've been before. The last time we saved her from dying."

Alice sighed. "Corinna, I know you don't want to do this. You can still go back home and-"

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be." I said firmly.

She saw right through me, "You just didn't want to sit in his room alone any longer."

"I'd like to see if she's dead or not," I added.

"Her out of the picture isn't going to magically make whatever is going on between you and Edward better," she reminded me.

I ignored the way it felt like she had punched me in the chest.

"Yes, thank you for reminding me of that." I rolled my eyes again. "She is the problem between us."

"Is she? Because as far as either of you know she's dead right now so you would think it would be better now," she pointed out.

"Not if he loves her, then unfortunately her death makes it worse." I mumbled.

Alice was staring at me now, and had she not been the future-seeing evolved vampire that she was, that would have scared me. I tried to pretend she was looking at me, but it was next to impossible to ignore Alice. I hit my hand against the dashboard before turning to look at her.

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"You think he loves her?" Alice asked, genuine confusion on her face.

"Of course he does! He cares about her, doesn't he? He's willing to drop everything for her and run off to get space from me because he can't stop thinking about her and....." I choked on my words. "He loves her and that's why he doesn't love me."

I saw the side of Alice's mouth twitch, almost too fast for even myself to see.

"Corinna he cares about her as in he doesn't want her to die, yes. But not for her well-being. He doesn't want her to die because that means he failed. It means he is that awful, dark monster that he has spent decades trying not to be. It's really quite selfish I would say." Alice finally turned her eyes back to the road as she entered the Swan's neighborhood.

I tried to tell myself she was telling the truth, because she had no reason to lie to me, especially about this.

"And, for the record, I wouldn't say he doesn't love you. Over a century old and still doesn't know how to talk about his feelings." She waved her hand as if we weren't talking about love and immortality.

We pulled into the empty driveway of the Swan residence. The cruiser was gone, and so was Bella's truck. It wasn't promising that anyone was home. I knew I had told Alice that I wanted to see if Bella was dead or not, but as we walked up to the front door I felt less and less confident that I was telling the truth. Bella was a problem, nothing more than that, but I really didn't want her dead just like Edward and the rest of the Cullens.

I guess the only difference between Edward and I was that I wasn't going to run off and avoid him because some curious human died.

"Shouldn't we knock?" I joked as Alice let us in as if we weren't breaking and entering.

Being with Alice was chaotic to say the least.

"How are we supposed to know if she's actually dead?" I asked, grimacing at the morbid thought.

"Alice? Corinna?"

We turned around faster than we had done anything all day. I froze, as if I were looking at a ghost.

"Bella?"