Trainee {Hueningkai}

17💔

Hi MOA💚, I just wanted to give a little warning that this chapter and a few others will be based on the main character's(you) depression, suicidal thoughts and self harming. Sorry if chapter like this bother you💔💚

POV Lee Jeena

—Why does she have to be so mean to you — Taehyun said

— Don't worry about it Tae — I smiled — See you at lunch — I waved and went to my seat

— Jeena — I heard Yuna say

— Yeah? — I asked

— Why does she hate you? — Yuna pointed at Minji

— She was my best friend, I trusted her but she told everyone everything I've ever done and even lies to people about me — I said

— And what about you and Huening Kai? — She asked

— We're — I paused — Good friends — I lied answering her question and acting as if the question wasn't weird at all

— Okay — She smiled and went back to her table. The classes before lunch were boring, as always but I did notice Yuna and Minji talking and I was hoping to have a bit of peace at lunch time, but of course that isn't how thing work

— Hi Jeena, how were your classes — my boyfriend asked with a smile

— They were boring — I smiled back — Wait have you seen Yuna? She stayed in the classroom and told me she will be with us a bit later but I haven't seen her since —

— No I haven't — Kai answered

— JEEN — I hear the screaming of my bestfriend, small laughter form Taehyun and feel a tight hug right after

— What took you two so long — I asked and looked at Taehyun, he just blushed

— I was just looking for him, nothing else — he smiles

— You still don't get the massage, do you — Minji said as she placed her arm around the shy new girl called Yuna

— Leave me alone Minji — I said turning around but before I could go she pulled on my sleeve, taking off my jacket and revealing my marks, scars and even new cuts on my arms

— Let's see what your little friends think about you now depressed fucker — She laughed and started pulling Yuna with her — Come on, She doesn't deserve you —

— But — Yuna tried to complain

— Don't feel pity for that attention seeking whore — Minji said. There I was frozen in place, tears running down my face and surrounded by people laughing, throwing things at me and some barely audible "poor girl" whispered. I look at Taehyun and Beomgyu, They looked like they were about to kill Minji and everyone else who was laughing and had tears threatening to fall. Then I looked at Kai, he was crying, he had his hands covering his mouth and his eyes were closed but the tears were still running

I hurt him

I hurt them

Maybe Minji is right

Maybe I shouldn't be with them

I can't take this

I can't take any of this

I'm sorry

Those and more thoughts went through my mind, from the  "I'm not enough" to the "I Should just die". And the worst part is

My thoughts are right

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. I fell to the floor crying and still trying to breathe but I couldn't and my chest felt so tight. I suddenly feel someone coming closer, carrying me and getting me away from the people in the cafeteria

— Jeena calm down, breathe — Said Beomgyu as he tried to calm me down — Don't worry, it's only us three and you. You trust us, don't you — I nodded still crying

— Jeen — Said Taehyun as he hugged me — I'm sorry, we should've known something was bothering you — 

— I've caused nothing but trouble — I forced a chuckled yet I was still crying

— No, Jeena don't think that way — Beomgyu held my hands — Why didn't you tell me you felt this bad again — he whispered

— I didn't want to worry you — I failed to smile. We were four people outside of the school yet Kai never said anything, he didn't even move from the place he stood, his head hanging low and tears still falling

I hurt him

Badly

;