Stupid With Love

Maybe Everything Is About to Change

Harry P.O.V.

It’s been two weeks since the other boys left.

I wish I could say that things have gotten better. I wish I could say that Niall has finally started to get over Liam and he is now on his way to how he was before, if not better. But I can’t. Unfortunately, Niall has spiralled even further into his dark place, that it is almost impossible to talk to him. I’ve tried helping him, I’ve tried being here for him, but it’s gotten so hard. Niall is now a shadow of who he was. The young, carefree boy is now gone, replaced by someone who is so wracked with self hate that they had removed themselves from the lives of everyone around them. I can’t sit around and watch him destroy himself. I can’t, but I fear that I have to. If only so Niall can see that someone still cares for him, that he’s not as alone as he believes he is. I care about him enough that I will stay here, until the end. Whether the end result is good or bad.

Simon set up two interviews for Niall and I, the first was last week. They asked us about why the tour had been cancelled, and what exactly was going on within the band, mainly focusing on Liam and Niall. I wished so much I could tell them everything, if only so the fans can understand. If the media is to be believed there is now Liam fans and Niallfans. Each side of the fandoms have come up with crazy reasons why the tour was cancelled, as well as why Niall punched Liam. Many of the reasons revolve around a romance falling out between the two. I wish I could tell the fans just how right they are. But it’s not my place; Niall has to speak up when he’s ready. If he ever is.

The second interview we have to do today. I’m trying to prepare for the questions I will be asked. I believe most of them will revolve around the pictures of Niall that have surfaced over the last week. The pictures that show Niall stumbling blind drunk out of clubs with different men. The pictures that show Niall smoking and taking other various substances. The pictures that show someone who is and isn’t Niall. I’ve gotten concerned phone calls from both Louis and Zayn every second day. But I can’t tell them anything, because Niall won’t talk to me. I’m trying. It’s not surprising that Liam hasn’t called, he doesn’t care. He made that clear.

I caught a taxi to the building that the interview will be held in; it was a radio interview, so I didn’t care too much about my appearance. The only time Niall had talked to me was to tell me that he would be making his own way to the interview. That was a few days ago and I hadn’t seen or talked to him since. I arrived at the interview with fifteen minutes to spare, the first thing I noticed was that Niall wasn’t here yet. I walked through the building allowing myself to be led by an attractive woman to where the interview will be held.

“Have you seen Niall yet?” I asked her. She turned to me.

“No, not yet,” she responded in a monotone. And that was the end of our conversation.

We waited half an hour for Niall. Making the interview late to air. But he never showed, he didn’t even call. No explanations, nothing.

It went exactly as I had expected it too. The interviewer mainly asked me questions about how Niall was doing and what One Directions plans were. And I tried my best to answer them, but it was hard. Because I didn’t know. I had no idea what was going to happen now. Would we go back to being a band and make new albums and go on another sold out tour. Or would this finally be the thing that will break us for good. I didn’t know and it was unbelievably frustrating.

I decided to walk back to the hotel to avoid the mid morning traffic. Fans screamed at me but their voices were only distant echoes of a dream that I had long ago. I used to thrive off the fans; they were what kept me going. But now hearing them and knowing that everything is falling apart, it’s breaking me. So I walked on, ignoring them, continuing to be lost in my thoughts and wishing I had somewhere I needed to be. I grabbed my phone out of my jacket pocket and speed dialled Niall. It rang five times and then went to voice mail. I sighed and shoved my hands in my pockets and walked on.