Stupid With Love

I Don't Need You

Liam P.O.V

I love you.

I love you!

I love you?

The words Niall had just spoken ever so confidently to me, echoed within the walls of my mind.

What had just happened? Why am I now running down the corridor of our hotel, away from Niall? Why did he ruin it? Why did he have to ruin everything?

Love? Is that what Niall and I have? I saw it as an infatuation. Nothing more and nothing less. Just two mates coming together every once in a while. Not love, but curiosity. I was curious about what Niall offered me. Curious about what being with Niall would be like. A fling. A phase. Nothing more. Well, at least there wasn’t, not for me anyway. And I thought the same for Niall, he just wanted to try something different, because he was bored, we both were. We both are. But love? No I don’t think so. No, I know it’s not love. Because Niall is a guy, because I’m a guy, because what we have been doing is wrong. Lying to everyone is wrong. Sneaking around is wrong. Two guys being together in an intimate way is totally and utterly wrong.

My thoughts whizzed by at a mile a minute, none of them stayed around long enough for me to make sense of what each question meant. For me to form some sort of rational answer. I just kept running. Physically I was now running through the lobby of the hotel, onto the street and away from Niall. Mentally I was running away from the thought of loving Niall. Of Niall loving me. Of letting someone in enough so they can tear you down. Should I have left things the way I did? Probably not, but what was I meant to do, declare my love for this boy and be naïve enough to think that everything will be okay, that everyone will accept us. To be like Niall. A boy who follows his heart, whether it leads him to happiness or to tragedy. A boy who will fall in love again and again and again, but still believe in the idea of ‘the one’. I can’t be like that, and that is why I left. I couldn’t give him the answer that he wanted, so I ran.

I slowed my run to a swift walking pace as I made my way down the unfamiliar Melbourne city streets. The sun was now just setting behind the wall of skyscrapers that stretched like fingers into the sky. I continued to walk. I wasn’t stopped. Nobody recognized me and I was thankful. I found myself coming to a stop outside of a somewhat crowded nightclub that was situated in the heart of the city. Walking in past the bouncer I was immediately bombarded by sweaty bodies pressing up against me. Pushing people not as politely as I should out of my way I sat down on an empty bar stool. Signalling the bartender with my hand I ordered vodka on the rocks.

I’m not sure how long I sat there lost in my own thoughts, ordering drink after drink. I’m not sure when she sat down next to me, or how long she had been trying to get my attention. But when I finally looked over to her, everything was about to change. Honestly I didn’t care what she looked like, I didn’t care if she was here with someone and I didn’t care if she liked me. All I was sure of was that I was not in love with Niall, and I was going to do everything tonight to prove that he didn’t mean anything more to me then a band mate and a friend. I turned to face her properly, I guess she was pretty, or maybe it was the alcohol making it’s way to my head.

“Wanna dance?” I asked her casually over the music, not really caring about her reply. Knowing that I could get another girl in this bar whenever I wanted. Because well I am fucking Liam James Payne. Maybe because I was thinking so vulgarly about myself and these women I was a little over my drinking limit, but for once I didn’t care.

“About time you asked me” she replied, getting up from her seat. I’m a hundred percent sure that I am completely out of my mind drunk when I forget she was there and her voice scared the shit out of me.

We made our way to the dance floor stopping when we found a decent space among the other dancers. She was quick to grind up against me. She was tall with her stilettos on and when she turned around and grinded her butt into me, it hit my stomach. I put my hand on both side of her hips and grinded our bodies together. An unwelcome memory entered my mind as I remembered the night I was clubbing with Niall, the night that started our whole messed up situation. Why the fuck am I thinking about that? To erase the memory I put my hand around her stomach and pulled her body against mine, with my other hand I turned her head around and shoved my tongue down her throat. She was quick to respond, moving her tongue with mine and letting out a small moan. Not wanting to waste anymore time with this nonsense, - I realised I came here for one thing and one thing only, and I would not be leaving here without getting it, - I whispered in her ear to come to the back with me. She grabbed my hand tightly as we stumbled through the mass of bodies to the back.

There was an illuminated sign a little to our right that read ‘toilets’. Walking past that I saw a long, dark corridor, it obviously led to the storeroom, I led the girl down it until the corridor turned sharply to the left. Looking around to make sure no one could see us; I shoved her roughly against the wall. I ran my hands up her slight frame as I kissed up her neck; she arched her neck to the side so I could get better access to it. I sucked harshly in one particular spot and bit, leaving a red mark. I notice now that the only thing she’s wearing is a piece of silk that has somehow been transformed into, what I’d imagine she believes to be a dress, that only just covers her boobs and arse. Not bothering about warming up, I pull her dress up and rip her underwear off her legs. Pulling down my own pants and boxers I lift her up, her legs wrapping around my torso and shove her back against the wall. I enter her swiftly and continue to do hard fast thrusts until she’s filling the corridor with moans and I feel satisfied, as we both find our release. I pull up my pants and leave her to get herself together. I walk back through the bodies of people to the front door of the club and back into the Melbourne streets.

I stumble, tripping on the cracks in the sidewalk and running into the objects on the street back to the hotel I am currently staying at. No one noticed me. To them I would just be another drunk trying to find his way back home. But what was I going back to? One direction? Niall? For now I don’t know and I couldn’t bring myself to care. I walked into the lobby and into the waiting elevator that would take me to the warm comfort of my bed. I made my way down the corridor to my room, whistling a tune that sounded familiar but I couldn’t quite place.

I should have noticed Niall peering ever so slightly out of the crack in his door, but I didn’t. And I believe this is what would be the start of our downfall.