| Antidote | Poison 2nd Book |

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟘

Hongjoong had sat up the whole night in bed, trying to piece together the scattered thoughts that raced through his head. When Yeosang came home that night, Hongjoong didn't even utter a word to him, even when he had laid next to him to go to bed. He needed to figure out what exactly he wanted, and he didn't even know where to begin.

The sun had barely begun to shine through the blinds of the windows when Yeosang began to stir in bed beside Hongjoong. The dark-haired male then looked over at Yeosang, chewing on the inside of his lips nervously. If there was any kind of helpful advice he could get, Yeosang would be the one to give the best kind.

"Yeosang..? Are you awake?" Hongjoong called out in a soft tone, hoping he would wake up to talk to him.

The blonde-haired male let out a soft groan, slowly turning over in bed to face Hongjoong before opening his eyes. "I am now... Did you not sleep again?"

"N-No... I couldn't sleep." Hongjoong's gaze fell into his lap with a gentle sigh. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Joong, it's-"

"Please. You said I could talk to you about anything at any time." 

Yeosang let out a tired sigh, then pushed himself up in bed to rest his back up against the headboard. "Alright. I'm officially up. What do you need to talk about?" He yawned a bit, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.

"I'm really confused, and..." Hongjoong paused to rub his face. "And I didn't want to talk this out with you, but I don't want to hide anything from you. I still haven't signed the divorce papers. I haven't even taken the papers out of the envelope to read them."

Yeosang furrowed his brows slightly, cocking his head to one side as he looked at Hongjoong. "Why haven't you signed them? Isn't this what you've wanted? To be separated from him totally?"

"That's what I'm confused about. I don't know what I want. The thoughts in my head are so jumbled and complicated, I don't even know where to begin at this point." Hongjoong let his head fall back against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Well..." Yeosang took a deep breath, folding his hands in his lap. "Answer this question then. Do you still love him?"

Hongjoong lifted his head, looking over at Yeosang as he seemed to hesitate. "I-I... I don't know. I know I shouldn't, and I still have this sense of hatred for him abandoning me, but..."

"But?" Yeosang raised a brow slightly, meeting Hongjoong's gaze.

"But... He was my first love, Yeosang. The first person I've ever loved romantically, the first person I've ever been with. I know deep down in some part of my heart, I'll always love him regardless of what he's done." Hongjoong shook his head sightly with a shrug.

Yeosang bit down on his top and bottom lip, giving a subtle nod of his head. "Alright. Do you want to be with him?"

"I-I mean... I'm with you, so-"

"That's not answering the question I asked. Being with me has nothing to do with the question, Joong." Yeosang sat up from the headboard, shifting his waist to face Hongjoong and look him in the eyes. "You can be honest with me. I'd rather you be honest than let the truth bottle up."

"I-I..." Hongjoong licked at his lips before taking the flesh of his bottom lip in between his teeth to bite down on it. He had to think about it for a moment before he could give Yeosang an answer. "I know it's wrong but... I do. I think part of me will always want to be with him."

Yeosang looked away from Hongjoong, drawing a deep breath as a subtle smile came to his lips, a slight aching in his chest. "So in conclusion... I know you love me, but I'm not the one you need... Correct?"