Four days to go before returning to Singapore. Crestfallen. I've developed a certain liking for London, it is so diverting. So many things to see and experience, the culture here is so different, and not to mention all the wonderful decadent Western food properly savoured. Another tick off the bucket list. In hindsight, I knew this was going to be more of a 'holiday' rather than a 'business trip.'
And best of all, it brought me to Jonathan. I'm thankful to Providence.
Haven't heard from him in a while. A little paranoid, like I did something wrong to drive him away. Trying not to get my head too wrapped around this, better relish in this one-off trip because I definitely won't be coming back for a while. No money, knew I should have just dropped out of school to become a pop star.
Spent the last couple of days purely visiting attractions. I've developed a thing for museums, especially for British ones, they are all free entry, such an incentive. Singapore's museums should do the same too, gives proper encouragement for people to immerse in the history/local scene, rather than charging its locals and tourists large bucks for entry.
The last thing I felt physically, emotionally or mentally equipped to do was head down to South Ealing to comply with an impromptu invitation by Joey and Ethan down at their humble abode. Met them in university, didn't know they were even married, wasn't invited to the wedding. Gutted. Also discovered London was their permanent place of residence. Lucky bastards.
We chit-chatted, it was brilliant, felt the need to head back to hotel by eight in the evening but Max kept offering to refill my glass with champagne. Mild obligation to take heed. Nonetheless, things were cheery, many laughs.
"So how did you two know you were both right for each other?" I was curious, intimate love has its many ambiguities and complexities. They stared at each other, wide grin on their faces, I was so jealous.
"Hahaha," Max snuffled. "We just knew it was right. You know, she kind of checked the boxes for me. We shared common preferences..." I was processing this, linking to me and Jon. I thought 'Okay this definitely doesn't work.'
Max continued:"Very cliche. But we enjoyed each other's company, always a lot of smiles. I thought she looked amazing, and then..."
"Looked?" Joey interrupted.
"OK. I thought she looked and still looks amazing, and one fine day I asked her out on a date and she accepted it. Did that for a couple of years, parents found out, close friends found out, word got around like wildfire. People thought we were an unlikely couple, some said I hooked up just to shag. But it wasn't, it was true to the heart." He swiftly motions to Joey: "I swear!"
"Yeah," Joey added on."Happened so quickly but I enjoyed Max's company and he always made me laugh. He was very protective of me. Gentleman, kind, loving, passive-aggressive, the traits normal people would fall in love with in another person, save for the latter. You know where we're getting at..."
I nodded. They chuckled, Joey's cheeks in particular, blushed into a crimson red. Max was delighted. I was so perturbed.
It's strange. Fascinated by the prospect of love and romance, questions all over. How does one know if it is love? How do you know if that person is the one for you? How do you know it will last? How did Joey and Max know this wasn't a mistake? Flustered.
Max snapped me out of my muse once more, asking if I wanted another glass. Crazy fellow. "I've already had three please, no more." Thought I'd grasp the opportunity to take my leave. "I've got to go, it's late, and South Ealing is... I don't even know where this place is."
I soon managed to bid them adieu. They saw me to the door. "Ciao Matthew, and please do something about your hair."
En route back, I was heavily in thought. Complete perturbation. Max's words kept ringing in my head 'We just knew it was right.' How? How did you know Joey was the right person? Exasperating. I pondered over dropping Jon another text but considered it improper, like I was pushing for a reply from him from my last unanswered text message.
Phone rang, startled me a little.
"Hello darling," my Mother, "you back in the room?"
"No?" She was probably going to ask if I got her anything from Marks And Spencer. She's always raving over their products, drives me mad.
"Possible to buy this linen skirt from M&S? Sent you a photo of it." Knew it, she is so predictable.
"Let me get home first Ma, call you back." Ended call before she could get a word in.
'Breathe Matthew. Breathe. Deep breaths.' I mumbled, regaining composure. 'Good Vibes, Good Life. Good Vibes, Good Life.' Effective mantra. And then, it suddenly hit me, out of nowhere - 'Why am I so curious about this? Why am I always so anxious around Jon all the time? What's with the interest in the prospect of love?'
Deliberated. Found the answer. Thought it was impossible, but it made sense. I was back in love with Jon.
Oh god.
